I will never forget that day. August 10th 2015...
I found myself just moved into my parents house my now husband outside having a smoke after sneakily buying a cheap pee in a cup pregnancy test...I had lost track of what the count was of how many of these I had taken. I told myself I wouldn't do this again. I wouldnt test unless I was sure. it just so happened that it was about a month since I had taken one..and unlike all the other times I was two weeks late this time. I stared intently at my reflection hands on the counter. I had everything I needed ready to test. I didn't want to look. this time was different..this time it was real. it meant something. that impending moment in a woman's life that every woman knows is coming if nature calls for it. I glanced down at test quickly and I noticed a pink line the pink line that says its invalid or you are indeed without a doubt pregnant. I hastily and nervously threw everything but that dreaded, merciless, unforgiving stick in the trash. My perception of pregnancy would slowly be altered from today on..but I didn't know that yet. I took to my reflection once more, took a deep breath and looked, I mean really looked. I held that stick in my hand, heart pounding. I wasn't sure what I was even hoping for at this point but what I knew was certain..as I looked down at those two little pink lines they became beautiful.. as I felt. what this meant, all of it was so surreal. I had to force myself not to let tears fall. I attempted to inconspicuous hoping nobody would stop me on my way to the soon to be father of my child to tell him that here we are pregnant. "I'm pregnant " I said the words to him in a frantic whisper. his eyes widened and then softened. I showed him that stick that I was white knuckling in my pants pocket. pants I would soon outgrow but i hadn't thought of that yet. that day is forever burned into my mind. its absorbed and growing within me as my beautiful daughter kicks and sucks her thumb. I haven't met her yet but I feel nothing but love. fear but a fear that makes me stronger. she is beautiful and wonderful and her father has become so much more precious to me. I love them both more than anything in the world. God has been kind to me. I'm plagued by a hormonal imbalance that, according to doctors makes me infertile. I am pregnant! this was such a miracle and all I did was eat better and trust God and my body. I get the joy of having a daughter with the love of my life. I couldn't be happier to relive that day with little stick and those two no longer dreaded pink lines.