I realize I'm going to get a lot of negative flack but I want honest opinions.
My SO and I have been together for the past year and have a two month old daughter. I can trust him with everything except drugs. We first split up for a month lady February and he ended up getting hooked on Coke and when we got back together I told him of he wants his family I'm not going to tolerate any type of illegal drugs and threatened to randomly drug test him. Well I never tested him and we moved away from all of that so I thought we was good.
Well flash forward to 6 months later. He's got an awesome job that he's about to get hired on full time, we live close to my family and everything is going great. Except he's hanging out with my alcoholic/pot head aunt and her bf. Next thing I know my Dad, who's like me, is freaking out accusing my SO if smoking at his house (which would send him back to prison for another 15 years) and saying my aunt told him he'd been doing it. My SO swears he hadn't done it. Well three weeks later when my aunts getting kicked out for drugs, she brings up my SO again so I asked him AGAIN and he finally came clean saying he'd been doing it for 3 months and lying to my face. This is the last chance I'm giving him. So my question is should I follow through with a random test or just say screw it and leave? I can't trust him at all when it comes to it bc I know he's still being around it even when he swears he's not doing it and he knows if he does and the police find out I'll lose my daughter.
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I really think he can, but i hate that I can't trust him when it comes to it. Like I really really want to...but when he says he's going out (which he never ask if I'd like to go which I Think is odd because he's going to a friends house. How come Addy and I can't tag along?) I instantly wonder if he's planning on getting high.
if you're fed up with the relationship and everything going on, say screw it and leave.
but if you feel like there's a fighting chance to fix everything, to get things back on track and you want to take it then follow through with the drug tests.
there's no use fighting for something if there's nothing left to fight for, if you know in your heart he won't ever stop the drugs then that's it. but if you believe that he can, it'll take a lot of work from everyone involved, but it would be worth it in the end. but only if you believe he is actually capable of staying of drugs and not relapsing again
from personal experience; they never stop. not even for family. they just find new ways to lie and cover it up. if youre really over it leave, it will never get better unless he wants to quit himself. drugs are an easy fix to people its easier to get high than to fix the problem. but if you truly feel it wont get better and youve tried to help and he keeps lying and wont stop.. leave.