My mind is a horrible place to be... My baby needs a strong mommy but idk if I can give him what he…

Is there anything personally going on or do you just get upset out of the blue? For me, I've been having financial issues, couldn't find a job, couldn't make car payments, and cried to my boyfriend all the time about how I felt like a horrible mom because I'm not doing anything for him. Even his movements didn't make me feel anything, like I took care of myself and him but for a while him kicking or moving wasn't amusing to me at all. That went on for like 3 months and it was horrible. It's finally tapered off a little but I'm still not 100% back to how I was prior to being pregnant. I've talked to my doctor a few times and she said alot of it is hormones and there's very little you can do besides go through the motions.

I have dealt with depression since I was 12 I have bipolar depression and have to see a counselor regularly I get upset very easy and even more so now that I'm pregnant. There's so much that's going on idk everything is just getting me I can't even think straight anymore...