tomorrow is my first ultrasound, don't get me wrong I am happy, but since i found out i am pregnant I can't get excited... like i find myself getting excited and then i have to stop myself. my first pregnancy was a stillborn so i just can't enjoy my pregnancies, same thing happened when i was pregnant with my son... my son is now 7 and he is sooo excited about a baby he tells me "mom tomorrow we get to see our baby! are you exited?" i love the way he says "our" lol i wish i could be happy but then i get the dark thoughts that what if this baby doesn't make it.. 💔 i can't help it...