why do the side chick always think the man would ever leave his wife. all that oh he married young bullshit was just to get in ya pants

I'm just going to say this, whether he has a job or not, you need to obtain a child support order. He may be a worthless, womanizing user now but later, when he does get a job, they will go after him for back child support too. If you really want to do what's best for your child, hold the damn father accountable and don't ever make that baby a secret. That would be ridiculously unfair. You owe this jerk-off nothing but you owe that baby everything. No baby asks to be brought up in such a disastrous situation so it's up to you to make sure the baby doesn't suffer. Let it be known, you're pregnant, he's the father, he's the liar, he's the loser and sign up for the child support. It's not for you, it's for the baby. Oh, and move on. He will never leave his wife.

@wonder.woman07216, ..

@roth1321, I completely agree with you !! ..

If I were you .... I would cut his ass from my life .. No excuses .. If I really did not know he was married until after I got pregnant that would be enough of a reason to not even want to be involved with a person like that!! What kinda be of person does that!! Most likely if he did that to his wife he will do it to you .. And best believe he is lying about the whole "sleeping in seperate beds and shit" you are better off without him .. It will hurt .. But at the end of the day it will be worth it .. Don't be afraid to be alone u have a baby inside u now u won't be alone for long !! Don't lower ur standards cause of a man !! NEVER! He ain't worth it !! Plus he does not provide anything so why even bother!! .. A baby should never be kept a secret!! It's a blessing .. Knowing myself. I would slap the shit out of him for even telling me to keep it a secret!! I would soooo expose his ass !! .. Well that's if he really lied about being married .. If I knew it all along .. That's a different story!! .... If I knew about his wife .. I basically asked for it so then now to deal with the consequences.. But I would still leave his fkn ass .. Why the hell do I need someone like that in my life to drag me down ... Uhhh no thank you !!

he's going there to take care of his son. I can't knock him he walks him to school and back

@tahtahme, I'm not going to lie there are days its easier to just call it quits but as long as my daughter had a full time father and I'm taken care of emotionally, financially and physically I can look past the hard times. @wonder.woman07216 at the end of the day you just have to do what's best for your baby and yourself.

How does his wife deal with him??? How did you? who provides for his current son and why do you think he is a good dad???

@tahtahme, he has no job. there would be no money to collect from.

Yeah most people cant deal with that long term, cuz often someone feels left out or getting the short end @nicolerawrr

I say make sure you know his full name and home address and the day the baby is born, file for child support. Your going to need it and it is his duty. he sounds like an awful person for getting a 16yrold pregnant when he was 21 and he almost sounds like he blames his wife for that! I bet he kind of blames you too.

He never going to leave his wife and kid no matter what he's says to you. How old are you?

He is lying to you, the odds that he actually leaves his wife are very slim. It's better for you to cut your losses and think about yourself and your baby, and find a man who will treat you and your baby the way you deserve. You will always be the secret, trust me, I wasn't in your situation specifically but I've been there before where you hope the guy steps up because he "talks the talk" well let me tell you it never happened, even when he was single never did I get the time of day. Some men will say whatever they need to, to get what they want.

@wonder.woman07216, at first it was hard for both me and his wife. however he was always open about everything he told me from the very beginning he was married we had a friendship (nothing more) and one day he said he wanted to date me and he ran it over with his wife and then we started dating it was weird actually but then I got pregnant and we have more of a polygamous relationship now... the 3 of us even sleep in the same bed :P people say he gets his cake and eats it too but its working. then again I was open to the relationship for whatever reason (never in a million years did I think I would be in this type of relationship).

but my baby is a secret our relationship is a secret he says he doesn't love her. does he have a relationship with both of you ?

@nicolerawrr, I have no idea how you do it. she supposidly found out he was messing with a girl before me and threatened his son against him and I feel I'd be disrespecful to go against it but she should at least be open with having my kid know his or her brother

because I'm an emotional person, I would always worry like I do now if I knew. being pregnant is stressful enough

no I didn't know he was married I would never have gotten involved

did u know about his wife prior to getting pregnant??

hi@wonder.woman07216 I'm from ri too😊 I don't think it's fair what he's doing to you and his unborn baby. Eventually the Truth is going to come out. that baby will be a toddler, a child, a teenager and an adult someday, how's he going to hide that? don't do for him, do for your baby now..

I completely understand where everybody is coming from when they say cut him off but I also got pregnant by a married man (yes I knew he was pregnant I knew his wife nothing was being hidden) once I found out I was pregnant I told him and I actually now live with him, his wife and his 2 other children :P I'm here to talk if you want to message me :)

for 1 @wonder.woman07216 she wasn't downing her she asked for help and she clearly just stated her opinion at least she has the balls to tell her the truth and not lie and give her false hope don't apologize @boogersbugsanddirt

My bad. I was just telling the truth.

@supermommy23 💯

Cut his ass! Your child shouldn't have to hide because his father is a coward and can't man up to another child!

thank you @babykellersmommy

@boogersbugsanddirt, amen girl 👏👏

please put your neck back in. this column is for advice not to be ridiculed

Not trying to be rude or anything but I'm not sure why you would expect anything from him. He's very obviously a scum bag anyways, getting you pregnant when he is already married. If he really wanted you and your baby around he would leave his wife and fight for rights to see his first child. Sounds like he is just trying to hide a mistake he made. Sad. I really hope that you didn't know about his wife before hand. So disrespectful of him and I feel bad for the wife. Honestly you're better off... He did this to his wife what makes you think he wouldn't do something like that to you. End the cycle now and move on positively with your baby and yourself.

he got married to have things right with his family and hers he was 21 she was 16

Just gonna stick my neck out here. If you knew he was married, while yall were fooling around, this is typical behavior from a coward. He doesn't want to be exposed as a liar and cheater to his family. Unfortunately, not to be rude, but you're just as guilty as well. I'm not sure how I would handle it because your baby is getting the short end of the stick. If a married man clearly stated your child needed to remain a secret and that he wasn't going to leave his wife. I would definitely take some time to evaluate the situation. Unfortunately, this is not a winning situation. If he did this to his wife, he will do it to you.

I won't put hopes up for myself just don't want my child to ask where daddy is and he wants me to not behonnest with my child . and that goes against all my values

before or after you where prego did he tell you?

I have a co worker who went through this she didnt find out till after they slept together and she ended up pregnant that he was married i don't know your situation nor is it any of my business but cut your loss with him go for child support after baby is born don't do him any favors bc he is never gonna leave his wife no matter how many times he says he will

do I let him he around for his second child he's an amazing father to his son.

recently told me..

he's def trying to hide your baby and I wouldn't honestly get my hopes up with him being in the child's life... he seems like a lieing, sneaky jerk

yeah, but they sleep on seperate beds, hes not in love with her. he's worried she's going to stop him from seeing his son. so I respect that but I still feel horrible

did you know he was married or did he recently tell you once he got you pregnant?

...Uhm... and he's married?