Okay so I'm gonna vent a little.. Ever since I got pregnant I've been the happiest I've ever been in…
Okay so I'm gonna vent a little.. Ever since I got pregnant I've been the happiest I've ever been in my life. Especially since I've been trying for 6 months before it happened. And recently I've been starting to feel just a little down/depressed even. Not because of the baby or anything but because of my family. More specifically, my mom & mother-in-law. They both were so happy and excited when my boyfriend and I told them the news, but now as the baby is growing and time is passing there's been a change in them 😕 for one, whenever I spend more time with one or the other or if I invole one in something that I didn't with the other it's like a big freaking deal! And it's not like I'm doing it intentionally I want both of them to be in my child's life I mean they're his grandmother's for Christ sake. But it seems like no matter what happens or what progresses, it always turn out to be some competition for them. Like I only simply mentioned to my MIL that I was thinking of doing a Lion theme baby shower, that's all I said. And then she goes and blasts on Facebook (which is why I'm not venting to Facebook rn because I'm friends with both mom's and them seeing this would definitely start an argument 😒) about how's she's planning things and she's gonna do everything!! Now my mom is upset because she thinks I'm choosing my boyfriend's mom over her! WHICH I'M NOT!!! His mom was upset when I said I didn't wanna have the baby shower at her home, since she has the bigger house & etc. But I know if I did, that would make my mom upset! So in the end, I'm stressing and depressing myself trying to make everyone else happy, when I'm not even able to enjoy the happiness of my pregnancy and the miracle I'm making! 😔 idk what to do, I don't want to upset anyone or offend anyone, but I can't keep dealing with two grown women acting like jealous 2 year olds! And my boyfriend really isn't any help at all. He literally has no self pity or care of anyone or anything really. So when I try to talk to him about stuff like this he just shrugs it off or laughs at me or says I'm ridiculous 😑 he could care less about how either mother feels or how I feel about how either mother feels. He's basically an insensitive jerk about most things. So I literally have no one to talk to about things like this which means I have to keep them balled up inside which is not good for anyone, especially a soon to be mother! 😣😵😥
Takira·
Мама сына (9 лет), беременна (34 нед.)
honestly i would try and make both happy. but your mom is first.. just my opinion...she's how you got here
Dejah Acevedo·
В ожидании первенца
That's what I'm trying to do but it's never really working out that way. And of course I want to put my mom first, she birthed me & I'm the one giving birth now which to me means she has a somewhat higher position than his mom, but I also don't want to get on any bad side with the MIL. I have to deal with her the rest of my life now, and she can be a very... Unreasonable woman to get along with once you've gotten on her bad side :/
Heather·
Мама сына (2 года), беременна (17 нед.)
😕 I've been there. You'll never be able to make both 100% happy 100% of the time, but you can be as kind as possible. Truthfully, your boyfriend needs to work more on including his own mother. I'm sorry he's not being more helpful. 😞 Vent away girl!
Killomi D.·
В ожидании первенца
Do they not like each other? You should definitely try to be the glue that bonds them together so sit them both down and speak with them about how you feel.
Make them understand that you are trying to involve them both but they are both making it hard. And I think if you tell one about something you should tell the other as well, to keep it even and try to keep the important stuff to yourself. Like the baby shower, I wouldn't have told either of them especially because they are basically fighting over you lol and if I were you I'd have the baby shower at a park or some type of hall thing so it's even.
Dejah Acevedo·
В ожидании первенца
@hellokarly, humm I wouldn't really describe it as not liking each other, more of.. Like how when you see someone in person and you act all happy and "fake" but then behind closed doors they give their real opinion of each other. It's not a hate thing, just a not too tolerant of each other thing. And I know the way my mom's attitude is set up, if I tried to actually sit them down and talk to them about how I feel, she'd take it the wrong way. My mom has always been like that, "playing the victim" role if you'd say. And I do try to tell them both things. But like I said, my boyfriend's mom can't hold water without blasting it on Facebook. So if I was to maybe say something to his mom first, it would be all over Facebook by the time I got to tell my own mom & then she takes it offensively as if I'm trying to not involve her. And that's what I plan on doing, renting out a building or something like that so no one feels I'm choosing one over the other. @mommagotbump16 yes he really does need to communicate with her more. I try to tell him that but his excuse is always "Idc what my mom does, she's gonna do what she wants regardless" 😑 it's like I said, he has no care anyone or anything. Besides me and his child.
Heather·
Мама сына (2 года), беременна (17 нед.)
@queenace, yeah, you'll probably need to get him to understand that he needs to care what his mom does, because it affects your whole family now. You don't need the stress, and it won't be good for baby when he/she gets here. Sorry hon.
Dejah Acevedo·
В ожидании первенца
Your completely right! Thanks for listening 😊