😞 Stressed out about my husbands smoking. How can I get him to stop? He's always promised to give up…

It's an addiction. Maybe find your local stop smoking group the nhs do one in every area. Then give him the details he may need some help. Im an ex smoker (9 years stopped). It's not easy but soooo worth it. X

Believe me, I know it's not easy. I've lived with him for 5+ years during which he has tried to give up so many times. He actually stopped for 7 months once when we started fertility treatment. But then I got pregnant and miscarried within a few weeks of knowing and he was all 'whats the point' and started again. But I need to see him try! and I need him to stop lying to me when he knows he won't be trying. He actually admits outright to lying to me to stop me talking about it. He actually made more of an effort trying to stop before I found out I was pregnant that after. I'm starting to think it wasn't about the health and wellbeing of the baby now. He probably wanted to stop so I'd get pregnant and now that I am, he's all 'whats the point' again. @ljay

It's the hardest bit is he has got to want to. I'd get some leaflets off the doctors to wake him up a bit. He shouldn't even hold the baby after smoking even if he's gone outside as the chemicals stay in your clothes and seep out. The doctors will have leaflets on it I saw one at my last scan at the hospital. Maybe try that and get the local stop smoking group details see if he'll go for one session just to see how it goes. Good luck and if he does start trying let me know I've loads of little tips to make it easier x x @babytime

My OH is still smoking, I gave up the day I found out I was pregnant. But I've given him the ultimatum, he either gives up before the baby is here, or he doesn't go any where near until he has had a shower and brushed his teeth after every cigarette he smokes! Cigarette smoke and the chemicals stay on your clothes and person for up to 2hrs after you have smoked, regardless of how much you have sprayed on you to get rid of the smell! Tell him it's give up or do t come near your child until you are clean, washed and in completely clean clothes! I'm not too fussed about my OH smoking, it is up to him and I'm not his mother so I can't tell him what to do, but since giving him that choice, he has drastically cut down!! Plus the smell of cigarettes made me feel sick for the first 12 weeks so he didn't smoke as much which made it easier for him! @babytime xx

Cigarettes can increase the risk of SIDs. Have you mentioned this to him? Also smoking decreases fertility more so in men than women. It's selfish.....women have to give up so much for pregnancy (drinking and smoking if you do) Why can't he do the same??

@ljay I've gotten him all the leaflets I can find. No use. He doesn't believe that second hand or third hand smoke is bad. He knows it can effect fertility though. which is why I guess he tried to stop before and not now. I've shown him so many articles on the effects of third hand smoke on unborn baby and and told him all about SIDS. I feel like he doesn't care and he feels like I'm over reacting because I'm 'hormonal'. He's promised again today that he'll stop, but he's said that pretty much this entire month since we found out I'm pregnant. I'll believe it when I see it. I would appreciate any hints yoy have though. assuming he follows through with his promise, I'm sure we could use them.

@emmy_lou I hope your OH is successful in giving up completely.

@winterbaby95 I have PCOS so tbh, my husband boos anything I saw regarding his fertility. He's perfect in his opinion. True to an extent as he has never been a problem that we know of.

I've never smokes and don't drink but still, it's been way harder on me than him. this whole TTC journey has been a uphill battle that I feel like I've been alone in.

My grandma quit and she had the patches and chewing gum. It helped her a lot. If he cuts down gradually that may work. How many does he smoke a day? Does he smoke a whole one at once ot half a one? My grandma would split it into halfs etc...@babytime, xx

personally I don't see the big deal about smoking. I don't feel it makes any difference what so ever.

my partner used to smoke and is now on the e fags. I've never smoked. but as long as he's away from the baby for at least an hour after contact with e cigarette (what the midwife said) it's fine.

I dont think you can expect someone to change just because someone's pregnant. it hardly effects you! I'm around my dad alot and he smokes and I have 3 1/2 left to go in my pregnancy and I've still got 100%oxygen and purity level for my lungs 👍👍👍

you don't need to stress about it x

@vic22 personally I hate smoking and cigarettes. My husband is not allowed to smoke in the house but other than that, I haven't made much of a big deal about it. He knows I don't like it but the times he's tried to give up have been because he wanted to. He's always telling me he'd never be able to give up for me (his brother gave it up for his wife) but that's he'd give it up for out baby when I get pregnant because he'll love the baby more than anything. I am stressing. It has taken me 5+ years, weight loss, testing, procedures, treatments and a miscarriage to get to here! I don't want to chance anything happening because of his smoking.

I suggest you Google a few things; second hand/ third hand smoke and it's effect on pregnancy/baby, specifically placenta previa and SIDS. The articles are endless, it might alter your prospective. I know it might not happen to everyone but the risk is too high for me personally.

I feel your stress. My husband and myself are home in Detroit for the holidays and we just found out we are excepting our first which it's taken some time to get here and my mother has a cigarette in her hands every 5 mins in the house! Not only her but her boyfriend too. I'm here for another month and I'm feeling really nervous about it not to mention I just hate the smell. I've told her numerous times to open the window or please go outside but this is her house and she quickly forgets. So don't worry girl sometimes people are selfish wether it be a husband or your own mother. Addiction is a hard thing to break.

I don't think you can make anyone stop unless they want to. I was a smoker before I fell pregnant and people think it's so much easier than it actually is I've done so well throughout my pregnancy smoking nothing but that's because I'm the pregnant one and strongly disagree when women smoke whilst pregnant but thats my opinion. But it's really not worth stressing about or arguing about. You can't change no one they will do it in their own time. Plus you have a while till baby is here so just give him a chance and hopefully he'll give up. And those e cigs are great for trying to give up maybe talk about that with him. My partner used to moan about it before I was pregnant and I said you need to understand its an addiction it can't be changed over night just imagine someone telling you.. you can't eat something you love.. it's the same thing. x

@vic22, I agree with you. People have always been smoking around children and pregnant ladies throughout the years and everyone was born fine with no issues. It's only recently scientists have started saying all this mad shit to scare you. I personally don't smoke, and neither does my mom who I live with atm. My brother does but he smokes outside. So our house is smoke free. Whereas my Nan smokes and smokes in her kitchen. It's her house. If I don't like it, I don't visit. But I don't worry about it. She said she smoked when pregnant with her children 40+ years ago and they're both fine and I know they are because that's my mom and uncle she's talking about lol who, shocker, are both alive and well. So as long as when baby is here no one smokes in the room I'm in, which they wouldn't as even thou my Nan smokes in her kitchen, she doesn't do that when any of her grandchildren are here, she goes in the garden (except me as I'm her grandchild but I'm also 24 not a child lol). She mixes between the e-cig and normal cigs. Her choice. It's not my place to tell her or anyone how to live their lives. They've banned smoking in cars with under 18s in which is a brilliant idea and should just be common sense anyway lol x