I just felt the need to share this because I just got finished watching my birth video...watching…

I just felt the need to share this because I just got finished watching my birth video...watching the video it took me back to how bad I felt because I didn't take the opportunity to bond with my daughter for the first day and a half because i was in pure disbelief that I just gave birth (naturally) to another human being aka my beautiful daughter. When she was placed on my chest I wanted nothing to do with her until she was cleaned. The nurses kept telling me to hold her but I was so disoriented n in shock from pushing her out, it wasn't processing that I need to hold my daughter. I didn't have that moment of "instant love" , I didn't cry i did nothing but kinda push her away. Everyone talks about this magical moment of tears and happiness and instant love, but I had non of that. As I was excited to have her, the whole giving birth experience took over the big moment of her coming out. People tried to make me feel like a bad mother asking me why didn't I want to hold her and what was my problem and making me feel like I shouldn't have felt the way I did. I guess I write the to say everyone has a different birth experience. As we are happy to bring our babies into the world the whole process can freak you out a little bit. I don't go into birth expecting this big movie moment because it just doesn't happen that way. And if you have negative feeling don't feel bad about it. If you feel like you can't hold your baby right away , don't beat yourself up about it. People still to this day call me weird for how I reacted. My daughter was given to my husband until I could get a grip of myself and come back to reality. Giving birth is an emotional experience but I honestly would do it all over again and a lot different the next time around