New on here.. But I needed a place to rant to people that would either get me or have been there once in their lives.. I'm 20 years old and pregnant at 21 weeks.. I'm going to be a single mother to the fact that the man I thought loved me and I thought had cared for me doesn't truly care nor love me. Since I found out very early that I was pregnant(2 weeks) him and I fell off maybe it was my fault due to when we first got into a relationship I had cheated(2nd week of our relationship) I had came clean with everything the same day i told him I was pregnant which I felt was necessary if we were going to be in a relationship for the long run. He isn't so innocent either I've had problems with finding out multiple times he was talking to girls behind my back(not sure if they were ever messing around) but I've caught multiple numbers in his phone, multiple girls in his fb, and he's lied to where he has gone. I'm not saying it was good to cheat at all I just felt like we needed to be honest with each other.. After I had to him he started to slowly get abusive.. I had left where we were staying to live with my mom for the simple fact I didn't wanna bring harm to this baby or loose the baby. He has told me multiple times that I left cuz of someone else was my baby's father when it's not true I've had in my head for a year that I've wanted his kid and to start a life with him if he was willing.. Which before I came clean with everything our relationship was semi perfect obviously we fought but he didn't put his has hands on me as much as he has been.. So I now visit with him every month sadly once a month due to me not having money or a job(which is now fixed) and we have been struggling due to him talking to other people and I finding out.. I really am trying to stay in this relationship even though it gets super abusive ever time I leave to go back home and that he has stayed disloyal and honest.. I just want to know what should I do?? Family and friends have all said leave him you've done so much for him(he's been in jail 9 months of our relationship already and I was there the whole time.. Even if I had no job I'd sell off or pawn off my stuff so I could talk to him).. I've pawned of my laptop(he promised to get out, but never did) and I wouldn't have regretted that if we had a better relationship.. I lost my PS3 in pawn for his "addiction" to marijuana(even though I know you can't be addicted).. I've lost my true self in him for a long time I've changed myself to try to make him love me more cuz I love him.. I still love him.. Please help me.. What should I do...
I'm back at home now, I have no social life.. I talk to a few of my best friends on fb and occasionally they will come over, but hardly. I really need someone to talk to.