so I'm going to have to make the decision whether to drop out of cosmetology school when I only have…

so I'm going to have to make the decision whether to drop out of cosmetology school when I only have 8 months left little less than eight months actually because the lady who offered to watch my son on the weekends who runs a daycare throughout the week days decided she wasn't going to answer her door for whatever reason and I don't know if her alarm didn't go off or she forgot i spoke with her the night before this is putting me at risk for being dropped out of this program and ending up being nothing sitting at home working dead end jobs that are getting me nowhere near my dreams I wish I just have one person here that I can depend on and always turn to if I need help with my son and it's only the baby that needs weekend day care my boyfriend work he offered his mom too but she is I don't know how old has health issues he even told her not to talk to me the other day why would I have my son stay over there then my dads in his seventies just has no idea what he's doing with the baby any more hes a guy that has to keep busy not tied down to a baby and plus the daycare lady has all my breast milk so he couldn't have done that today even though he offered so if the school won't work with me and change my schedule Monday through Friday I'm freaking screwed its just funny that when I'm so determined to finish something and working so hard to get there something always screws it up or gets in the way I'm about to give up the school doesn't care if I don't have child care I'm supposed to have Plan A B&C backup child care of family members but what they don't realize is not everybody has the funds to do so not everybody has a big family that they can depend on and turn to there's not that person who's always just going to be there around the corner when you need them to watch your child how do they expect people to make it in life if they don't have it they don't understand that its like I set you up to fail I know if your child your responsibility but they couldn't be at least a little bit more understanding so if they don't understand this and change my schedule that I'm done with school wasting my f****** time again trying to be something in life instead of just sitting at home all day while my boyfriend works I can't do that that's not me that's not who I am I need to do something with myself being a stay at home mom is not who I am I can't do that I want something of my own but everybody's different .and people ask well why don't you go to school late oh yea my schools so strict they don't allow you to be one minute late and the rule will be changed Monday thank God so until then I'm screwed just why do I try to do good in life to be knocked down is this the life god intended for me if to struggle for ever trying to make something of myself? ,atleast its my youngest sons first Halloween that I can spend with him...guess I'll go trick or treating twice like I wanted