Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

It happened....?

2.5 years and today was the day he heard me fart. I thought I could crop dust him, but it came out full force. He looked at me and busted out laughing. ?

Am I wrong to be upset? Last night I was running a fever, weak, tired, sore, my left boob feels like it got used as a punching bag. I asked my husband to call out of work today to help me with the kid so I could get some rest. He went to work. I texted him this morning. Part of me thinks I mean. The other part of me thinks I was fine for saying that because he should've stayed home with us.

When did you ladies start getting checked to see if your dilating? I am 36 weeks 4 days and not once have any of my doctors checked to see if I am or not.. Only been checked to see if my son is head down, and he is.. Last week I went and the doctor said that she didn't wanna check to see if I was dilating cause she didn't wanna "mess with my cervix" 😕 or "get things started" those were her words... FTM