missing74user
missing74user
I am so super pissed off...please tell me Im not over reacting. I am very strict with ny kids. My kids dont have cell phones, computers, etc. I dont let my daughters date. They are 14 and 16. Im just old school. Anyways my oldest daughter had a LOT of problems last year; I found out she was sneaking out at night, smoking cigarettes, having sex with an 18 year old boy, etc. I raise my kids in a Christian home; I dont expect that behavior, nor will I tolerate it. Well, her 14 year old sister seems to be following in her footsteps and following her example and Im so upset. She is in the Student Government in High School.. a straight A student. Now I see her wandering off that path. She told me they had organized a Powder Puff football game for today and she had to stay after school to build the float and be in the parade and attend the game. I was reulctant because I knew there would be boys and its unsupervised but I agreed to let her stay, thinking I could trust her. Long story short, I found out she lied to me, wasn't where she said she was gonna be, disobeyed my order not to leave campus and was out elsewhere with older high school friends. I don't know what may have transpired in the two hours since she got out of school and the time I raced to where she was and picked her up, but do I have the right to be super pissed?? She is so grounded its not even funny. I am so upset that she would lie to me. Really hurt. And also, scared because all the yelling I did was obviously not good on the baby or on my current medical situation whatsoever. I am just lost for words and what to do at this point. Now i get to explain all of this to my husband when he gets home, who never EVER wants the girls staying after school for anything. This is gonna be a long night.
24.09.2015
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missing57user
I read this yesterday and all I could think of was getting pregnant at 16 having my first child at 17 i wasn't an out of control child I was alone and really had no one I love how you can still have some kind of trust even after your daughter's disobeyed you you didn't overreact you are trying to save them from going down the wrong path I wish I had a mother or father to even try as much as you're trying after you found out where she was YOU, a pregnant mom and wife, hopped in the car to go get her with all the issues that's going on with you bleeding you still found the energy and patience to tolerate your kids I would sit them down and tell them your reasons and what you expect from them you're raising young ladies they need to understand that smoking and drinking and having sex all that is not what kids their age should be doing they need to be focused on school and having fun the way kids should following their friends will only lead them into more trouble and they are the oldest if the other kids see their behaviors it will rub off on them
25.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
islandftm
no you're not over reacting you do have every right to be upset for their behavior. It's a very bad spiraling path to wander down. the only thing is that since they already don't have phones etc there's not much of a consequence being grounded. my parents tried that with me but I was already not allowed out like other kids so my life felt like one big punishment. you'll have to find a more creative avenue, as bad as it sounds, get them where it hurts. I liked money I did chores n at the end of the week I got to buy whatever. When my parents started taking that money back or not giving it I thought the world ended. creative tough love
25.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
nica26
I completely agree with @mickbaby and @plantdara ..... I am 27 years old and my mom was pretty strict on us. She wouldn't let us spend the night at friends houses if they had older brothers or anything like that and made sure we came home at decent times and my father made me feel like sex was the scariest thing ever and that he would def know if I had done something lol. But you know what, as much as I hated it at the time that I wasn't always able to hang out and do everything everyone did, I'm so thankful for that... I think it saved me from making alot if immature decisions and here I am, 27 and pregnant with my first baby, going to be married in November and a career. I think you are a great mother. You're kids are not your friends and should not be treated as such.... I think too many parents are concerned with being their children's best friends or fear of not being "liked". I say forget all that. When they get to be an adult and move out of your house and pay their own bills, then they can make the decisions on when and where they go and what they do. Keep doing what you're doing girl. Praying for peace for your family! @sarahemccormick
25.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
royalprincessmommy
@misserinc, i feel the same as you. it must be hard being a parent and just hoping your children make he right decisions but without freedom you just become a rebel ! at least thats what happened with me , im 23 with my first child and have been responsible and independent since 18 , just wish my mom wouldve trusted me then, bevause now ive lost so much respect for her as a parent. it was always her way , no ifs ands or buts. i undersand but communication is definitely key.
25.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
plantdara
I believe you have every right to be mad! I'm going to raise my two the same exact way. I grew up with a strict mom, (dad always worked shift work then they divorced when I was 13 1/2). I was also spanked. My mama put the fear in me, lol. I knew not to act out, but some kids rebel. My sister did, I didn't. I think it may be the kids personality. My sister was outgoing, I was always shy and a homebody anyways. I look back and wish I could've done the things my friends did, BUT I'm glad for the rules I had. Never been in jail, never have ever touched drugs, don't even drink, for that matter. "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Good luck!
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
misserinc
Also- I know my mom was just trying to prevent me from making the same decisions she did having a child in high school, but as a teen I wanted my mom to know I was different and could be trusted.
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
misserinc
The more my parents restricted me and didn't let me hang out with friends and feel "normal" the more I was dying to feel normal, and would do anything to be like everyone else. I look back and wish my parents would of just given me some freedom, it would of helped our relationship and I know I would have made better decisions knowing my parents trusted me to make good decisions.
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
mickbaby
You have every right to be upset! You aren't old school, you are a caring mother-don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You also had every right to trust your daughter to do a school activity. She broke that trust, she absolutely deserves to be grounded or punished how you see fit. Talk it over with your husband and come to an agreement on how she should be punished. You're a good mom ❤️
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
floridamommy1024
I deff understand where you come from wanting to be strict. Wanting to protect your daughters. But the problem is, almost all teens that grow up in a strict house hold are known to lie. When they feel like they aren't allowed to do anything they want to sneak around. They get the urge to be free and do as they please so they take it upon them selfs to go out and have fun without you knowin which could be dangerous. This is my first and by no means do I know how to raise a child yet, but maybe talk to them without yelling. Explain to them Why your strict. Tell them the consequences of what can happen from doing the things you don't want them to.
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
dawsonmicheal
might I just say you look so young to have girls that age ;)
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
missing74user
Oh, believe me, we believe in that in my house. But in my current state I cant be spanking anybody, though I told her right in front of her friends I would have beat her butt if I was able right then and there. I was SO MAD. I still am. I was raised the same as you. It was my dad we were afraid of though, not so much my mama. But man...this is so difficult to deal with.
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
emteebee
I'm only 21 and this is my first child as well, but in my opinion, I feel like you have the right to be upset! and you ate not old school by any means because I plan on raising my daughter the same way. The only difference is, I strongly believe in spanking. We were afraid to do anything out of line with my mom, not because she beat us or anything, but she put a fear in us at a young age and we had too much respect for her. If we screwed up, we'd get spanked and on punishment, extra chores like cutting grass. But we knew not to play. So you did right
24.09.2015 Нравится Ответить
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