mommas, i need help here 😟 i go to sleep every night and love my life. i feel full and complete and blessed to have such an amazing husband and a beautiful child. but i wake up everyday in tears and feel like screaming and punching the wall. i can't go another day waking up wet from leaking through the night, too hot, too crowded in the room. i wanna smack my husband for not hearing the baby cry at night. i don't care that i feed and change but he doesn't even wake up to his son crying! i hate that we are STILL at my parents and that im going to spend another whole day alone while he is at work. i feel like a terrible mother and a worse partner for feeling like this and i dont understand why i do. I'm 3.5 weeks pp and my anxiety is through the roof. idk if this is late onset ppd or just stress or just lack of sleep. idk but im tired of feeling this way 😢😡😩😢😳😳😳
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Depression isn't something that you can control though, which definitely makes it frustrating. I suffered through depression when I was younger and it's come back through out my pregnancy. It's the worst feeling to feel so broken and not be able to pinpoint what's wrong or why you're upset over such "small" things. It's tough. I deal with it a lot. Always hear if you need to vent or just talk.
thank you both for reading. @helpedbytmh @ashleycoronel it scares me so much bcuz depression runs in my family, but i have always taken pride in the fact that i am in control my feelings. not being able to explain or vocalize my frustrations is just driving me crazy.
It could definitely be the hormones mama. It could also just be the fact that life has its moments that drive us insane. Hell I know I go through it and I haven't even had my baby yet. Everything gets better in time. Your living situation, the heat, your man helping you out, do what you can to fix those situations and make best of what you can't fix. If you're not feeling better in a few weeks, I'd communicate that with your doctor. It could be depression or anxiety.
it's your hormornes all out of sack. they're still going to be off for a little while. don't worry things will get better, but in the meantime let your hubby know how you feel and that it would really help you out tremendously if he could help you with the baby in the middle of the night especially. but it's going to be fine. your body (and your mind) is Still adjusting to your new role. give yourself some time to feel "normal" again.
sorry for the terribly long post this early in the morning
believe me, I know the feeling! don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. even if you could have you hubby watch the baby while you go get your hair/nails done or whatever you like to do just so that you can have some time to yourself. just keep in mind it won't be like this forever