Need to vent . I'm kinda stressed out n little sad but I feel kinda bad . Okay I and my boyfriend finally got a house together to start out lives tog a month ago .

Im on fmla ... But I didnt earn enough PTO hours so it's kinda hard but the thing is my boyfriend always said he will make sure he take care of everything but it's like okay... But still ... We always broke all the time ... He "owns" a roofing company but i feel like it's hard because he gets paid after he complete a roof then go to the next . U know ? But it's not like an ideal job . For example he would make 400 in a week but that goes to the bills . Sometimes he doesn't make enough n we broke . But I told him he needs to look for a stable job like overnight it will help soooo much ... He said he will and he is looking but I don't believe him ... He's trying and I know he is but I feel like he is not motivated to bring more and more money . Like we don't have a lot food . Just some enough to keep us by I told him we need to buy more food . I'm kinda worried Because it makes me feel like is this gonna be like this all the time ? We can't even afford to go out n have fun or we can't even afford to buy things we need after bills . I'm starting to think about going right back to work after baby come I don't care . But it just makes me cry ..

Also I've been nagging his ass about working on sellin that crap ass car he got from craiglist( this guy trade his car for some tools I think) which was like I dunno probably in May or June .. He claimed he's gonna flip it for moremoney n I warned him it's not worth it because of problems . But his dumb ass got it n it's still sitting in the damn garage at his friends . I'm soo pissed off .

I blew on mine 2,000 I've been saving for a year on OUR bills back in the spring because of bills . It still piss me off to this day .

I'm very lucky both of our families has been supportive n helpful . They brought everything for the baby at the baby shower and has been helping out with some money n some bills n sometimes bring in food but it makes me feel so low . I don't want to be like This forever. I dunno how long till I'm at this breaking point .

I know my man is a good man and he is trying but damn get a stable job !! Like now he's not working since Friday .. Because his boss haven't had any updates about upcoming calls about roofing done . So like we broke . 😢 I'm trying to act like I'm fine because I don't want him to feel like shit . Like today I told him I've been feeling unattractive because I need my hair weave done n nails done n I can't afford that he's like he's trying n he feels like shit. In the back of my head I'm like find a damn job !!!

Im

Worried about what happens when baby comes and when the winter hits .