I believe that my baby's problems our from me smoking but my doc said just to cut back my boyfriend hates me literally destroyed me tonight with his words. I just want to pack up the little baby things that I did get and just die. I haven't stopped crying in hours and I know I messed up but I'm not a smart person obviously for smoking while pregnant. I feel like if she survives I should just give her up for adoption. I don't deserve her, I dont even deserve to live anymore.