!!!!!!! LONG RANT!!!!!!! so I may receive some flack for saying this, however imma say it anyways. When a married lady…

👍@firdous2015

@tater4414, woah. ✋✋ back it up, for a second...When I was talking about divorce and women in bad marriages.. I wasn't referring to myself!! Lol I'm happily married and far from divorce and all that. I was giving you examples. Examples of women that I know that are on and off and have been trying to keep their marriages... Two steps forward and 10 back... Love is what makes it complicated and in my opinion black and white. Try looking at it from a different point of view. You love someone but they can't stop hurting you, but you can't bare to leave them or let it go cuz you love them! I used to think that people are just dramatic and that it's a simple choice. Until my older sister had a divorce. 13 years she stayed trying to make things work, but some people Can't change their bad habits even if it was to cost them there wife and children. Why would she stay with him 13 years on top of the years before getting him help and doing all she did if "she never meant her wedding vows, or never really loved him and meant it"? Its BECAUSE she loved him and meant it all she stayed and tried to fight for them. That's what makes it complicated, love. To love someone so much and know that them in your life is bad for you and your kids, knowing you should end it but just can't.. Making it complicated. When I would sit and listen to her talk about her marriage and all that she was going through.. It changed my mind and perspective... Plus, this isn't the 1920's where women can't divorce or the idea of divorce is frowned upon. Where you dishonor your family and are shunned upon... But I'm willing to agree to disagree with you. You have your views and opinions, and that's fine. I just wanted to share with you my view on the topic...

I think divorce really is black and white, let me explain why. Marriage is complicated, no one said it was going to be easy, if you thought it was when you got married you were doomed to fail from the beginning. Love is a choice, it is not a feeling it's not something that you get to choose to have one day and lose the next. When you said "till death do us part," you made the choice of love. The choice you made that day was was a forever choice. You didn't say that day, "Till death do us part, or as soon as I don't feel like loving you I quit, or as soon as our love dies I'm out, and if the storms come buddy I'm jumping ship." You did say that at all that wasn't even or shouldn't have been a thought in your mind that day, so why would it be now? I have seen a lot of abusive marriages, abuse it wrong in every way. However, when a abusive relationship is dealt with in the right way either the abuser will leave and get a divorce or the abuser will be taken out of you home and the family is safe. Now I said divorce was black and white and here is where that comes into play, I believe that if the abuser files for divorce give it to them if you have tried every option of counseling, therapy, or what ever and it's not working and both of you- or just you have tried everything it's clear the person won't change and don't want to okay give them what they want. That is black and white, it's as straightforward as it gets.The other part will have to worry about filing for divorce if the go through the proper channels to get help and fix things. Now for a dead marriage, as I said love can't just begone one day if it was true love- the love that was a choice from the very beginning. I've seen a lot of "loveless" relationships, that had it been that the couple only had the feelings and not made the choice would have ended years ago. But because it's wasn't just just a feeling but a choice it's lasted. Love isn't always pretty, love doesn't always agree, love sometimes fights agree out dumb things, but in the end love is a choice you made and do make daily. I love you husband- the day he asked me to marry him I made the choice right then and there that no matter what I wasn't going to leave this man I was making the choice to love him till death do us part. Regardless of whether I hated him the next day or if children where involved. In the end divorce for a "loveless dead" marriage isn't grounds for a divorce at all. It is grounds for you to think back on the day you were wed and remember you choice you made, and it's a time to resolve that no matter what you will choice to support and love even if that means you won't receive anything in return. See divorce is black and no white, just like love is a choice. The question is whether you will choice to go on for ever or whether you didn't really mean your vows to your husband when you got married. @firdous2015

true dat, misery does love the company. I just hate seeing these women degrade a marriage so fast and act like it's one of the best things that a married women will ever do. These ladies really do need good sound advice from a real friend as you said, I do believe there are women who could give good advice like that but they are so over shadowed by the others it's ridiculous. You are right though! @caseclosed2015

I'm lurking for unmarried women to shut their mouths and stop giving horrible advice to married women who really don't need to hear that advice. @alicia91

amen!! @andream35

I feel u girl that's right.

In the end, it's just advice and the choice is yours. You take the advice and choose what you want to do with it, regardless of who's giving it. I'm married, love my husband to death, and pray that we will always be together. Forever and ever!! BUT.. I'm not saying no on divorce. I disagree with some of you ladies on that. Divorce isn't black and white, and just cause you love your husband, doesn't mean you should forbid the idea of divorce. Yes, some people rush to divorce, but there's others who have really complicated marriages where divorce is the only answer. Abusive and dead marriages where all the love is gone.. It's a sad thing when a sacred bond like a marriage has to end (esp when kids are involved) but sometimes it's for the best.

I don't think its so much about the person you take advice from being married or not married I think it has more to do with what relationship you have with that person. First as a married woman it's probably a bad idea to ask for advice from a group of women who you don't know lol. Who don't know you your husband or anything really about your relationship. A REAL friend or someone who had your best interest at heart is going to tell you something that could help your situation and not just tell you to leave your husband. That's just messy. Misery loves company and from what I see here a lot of people could use that company. If the right thing for you to do was to leave your husband you wouldn't need anyone to tell you that. IJS

@tater4414 Well, by putting it on social media you are automatically lurking for something lol 😂 its ok though.

I agree. Tell it girl. I love my hubby and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. We had a friend like that also and I kicked her messy self to the side. I feel my marriage is forever, he is not perfect but I am no angle either.. Be blessed..

preach it woman!! @bgabby

Yep. Agreed. - I don't take/& rarely give advice in regards to relationships. And I always tell folks, "don't listen to your single friends." 👍🏾👍🏾.

1. I didn't ask for opinions 2. I didn't belittle you for that opinion you just proved my point with your comments. @alicia91

@queenmother, preach!! both my husband and I before we got married agreed divorce is never an option... death maybe ;p but never divorce ( joking about the death part lol). I can personally attest to 2 different marriages that ended in divorce because unmarried people gave the advice to leave, worst choice of their lives. Now they see that and say had they never listened to them it would have never happened.

@tater4414 lol YOU asked for opinions by putting it out there 😂#respect

"...nobody takes it serious anymore because it's honestly not..." point proven. @alicia91

@tater4414, you are correct! At my wedding my pastor made a statement that always stuck with me, he said from this moment forward it's everyone's job in this room to support this marriage and do nothing that would tear it apart i didn't completely understand what he was saying until my husband and I started having problems and realizing that certain "friends" would give me horrible advice saying oh you deserve better you should leave and nonsense like that! Once I got my head on straight I no longer associated with those people because I wanted to be around the people who give good godly advice especially when I'm not thinking right and the enemy is in my head. Sorry long rant but yes the advice you seek and receive can have a huge impact on your decisions

@tater4414 well not really, if someone told me to go cheat on my hubby I wouldn't just because they tell me how good it is. Nobody takes it serious anymore because its honestly not, humans will be humans and some people have different needs which is why they cheat and end up divorcing. If my boyfriend of 6 years and I are still together by the time we're 60 then I will get married lol. But I believe to have some knowledge to be able to give advice based on my personal experience and it also depends on who and how you give the advice, some people are simply joking.

and that is great! divorce honestly should never be an option if it's an option before you get married your marriage has already failed. When you decide to get married you need to realize you are making a choice to stick with it and stay together no matter what. Love is a choice it's not a feeling, feelings come and go, but a choice is permanent. @coryellemg3

@tater4414 For me when we go through an issue and I am seeking advice I want postive advice because we came this far I do want to separate. When someone tries telling me to just leave him it is not a. option. I want to work it out. like right now we are having a rough patch and we are going to God for help because that is the last option for us to be happy again together.

no one stays married anymore because no one takes it seriously anymore. A person with do what they want, but giving advice really does affect decisions. Having seen and read a lot of comments on here from unmarried ladies to married ladies about how it's okay to disrespect their husband or marriage is not okay. what they say does affect. @alicia91

it just really does amaze me some of the advice these women give... idk why they give it. @coryellemg3

Well the thing is, hardly anyone stays married anymore and it's definitely not because of "bad advice". I think we're all human and whether we give "advice" or not if someone wants to do something, they will do it regardless. I personally don't get offended at all.

I understand what you are saying and I 100% respect it but I don't necessarily agree . I don't think you have to married to give your opinion on something that a married person asked your opinion on . I'm not married ,but at the same time people can go through things to make them have that knowledge on a certain thing . You don't necessarily have to be married to know what you are talking about .

@tater4414 I get it. I get upset when people try and give me advice when they cannot relate.

@coryellemg3 yes totally understandable

I think, it's very close to marriage but there is really just something about being married that opens your eyes to just how serious things are. I'm talking mostly to those ladies on here that have no idea in the world what they are talking about or saying it makes me so angry! @coryellemg3

@tater4414 oh trust me i see it on here DAILY

I am not married however, We have lived together for 3 1/2 years and have been engaged for 2. I am having our second child. I feel as though we are married just based on the things we go through. I understand.

oh you have no idea how much more I want to say on this topic!!! they are giving horrible advice- advice that will rip apart a marriage and the act like it's just nothing.. @phasion

i had to read this again lol because you are speaking nothing but the truth! Some of these women are single and bitter or have a disrespectful bf

omg yassss preach !!! i see soo many peoole on here give horrible advice .

preach!!!!