of fucking course he waits till I'm up, completely ready, with food ready to take, to tell me he…

of fucking course he waits till I'm up, completely ready, with food ready to take, to tell me he doesn't want to go. after he PROMISED me last night that he would go whether he was tired or not. I don't like going to church. I always get anxiety and I feel so judged whether I'm actually being judged or not. mainly because I am not married and now quite obviously pregnant. it makes it worse when he doesn't come with me. I'm really only going for my dad but I didn't want to go without my fiance. but since I cooked for the potluck I feel obligated to participate. this makes me so freaking angry. I'll have to sit alone too cause my dad is part of the worship team. he hardly ever keeps his word when he says he will do something. I think it's bout time he gets cut off. he ain't getting anything until he can keep one fucking promise.