@camdensmama don't get me wrong I love the hell out of my husband. will do anything for him but I believe the child is first. the kid needs you more then your husband. we have to care for these kids because they are clueless unlike our men. I mean even at a restaurant the server always ask would you like us to bring out the kids meal 1st. So I believe the kids are 1st. but that doesn't mean don't give your man attention and all that good stuff. Like you said a relationship is hard work too. it's all about balance! My kid or my husband should never lack my love and affection!

I've been a single mom for 6 years but I'm trying to make it work and try to stay off my phone lol which he is waiting for me to do

I do get what you're saying.. in some cases my boyfriend does come first, it's hard to find time to ourselves, and I start to feel guilty leaving my kids so we can go eat somewhere nice which is really rare! it's hard to turn off and on that mommy mode. it's not selfish to serve your husband first. I make separate food for my kids sometimes cause they're picky. this is what causes some divorces, because mommy mode never turns off and your husband goes find someone else. and you figure out what you did wrong. the mornings, my attention is all my fiancee until the kids wake up. sex, breakfast, TV and cuddle before he heads for work. then when my kids wake up I attend to them. then dinner I serve my kids then him or sometimes he fixes something for us or whatever.

@kmo, thank you !

I understand what you mean n I agree your relationship has to come first a happy relationship creates a happy home....I've seen ppl who put children first n the relationship suffers n the child is in a dysfunctional household....I think the issue with this topic is hard to discuss on a place like this is because you can only explain so much to where ppl can understand your point but I get what you mean....I didn't take from it that you meant your child will starve in order to make your husband happy at all...

I see where you would get that. But we're not saying if our kid is crying but our husband wants something were gonna say hold on kid your dad is first lol. We're saying in the bigger picture your marriage matters more. Because your kids are supposed to leave their mother and father and find a spouse so at the end of the day if you leave your spouse for your kids then you'll have no one in the end. Your kids not gonna leave their spouse for you one day. They're gonna go about their life and make a new family which is the ways its supposed to be @myramercado

@myramercado, to me I just think that if I start feeling like me and his relationship is separating us I am going to take time out with him . Just us two no kids . Am I saying that if the kids were sick and he wanted to go out I would go out ? no . I think some of you moms who are Saying that putting a relationship before kids is selfish are getting confused with what we mean .

I'm not calling you selfish I'm saying that it's selfish nor directly towards anyone . just a statement and points. not insulting anyone .

@cricket, thank you !

God,husband, kids. I love my son but I know my place as a mother I am to teach him to leave me and find a wife. My husband will always be here. So he is first. We are one why would I give us less attention to take care of my child. If we start to break because we don't get as much attention how can we be there for our kids. To me it's kinda like how they tell you on the airplanes. If we're going down put your oxygen mask on first then your kids because if you die without it then how can you help your kids. Paraphrasing of course but you get what I mean.

@myramercado, every household is different but please don't call me selfish . I didn't post this to argue .

this topic kinda pissed me off..why? well first the child has no fault being brought to this world and feel like he/she secondary to everything. 2. once you both decide to have a child it's not about you guys anymore (selfish) is about the child and his/her needs.3. you never know what can come into your life and your relationship so what if something drastic happens and yall seperated. now all the sudden your child comes first UNTIL another man pop into the picture the he/she get bump into second ... I'm sorry but for me and MY experience a child your blood and flesh is for LIFETIME that's a fact...

But until my kids turn 18 and are on their own, my kids will always come first!

My husband and I both put our kids before each other. Our son eats before either of us, A. because he is far more hungry than either of us are by time dinner is done B. because he needs a bath and to be put in bed by a certain time. My husband always tells me that he hopes if I had to choose between my kids and him who to save first, I better choose our kids, because they haven't gotten to live as long as we have and haven't experienced as much as us. My husband and I have a mutual agreement when it comes to our kids, doesn't mean that we ever forget our love for one another or feel as if we are just the ones who provided children for each other. We are soul mates and partners for life. and nothing would change that ever.

My kids will always come first and my husband wouldn't be happy unless they were taken care of first! That's the way it really should be! Honestly this topic kinda pissed me off considering the fact I had to burry my only child at 5 years old. And I'll never understand why God took her away from me because I always done the best for her and put her first! I taught her about God like he put us here to do and then he took her away from me. And I know he had his reason. And I know he don't expect me to understand! He put us here to be "fruitful" and have children an teach them about him! My SO would never even expect or even think of me putting him before our babies! I guess it's just my heart and the way I was raised because my daddy alwayyyyysss put me and my sister first no matter what. And you know what me and my daddy have the strongest bond. And me and my daughter were the same exact way! And my SO loved it! An he put her before me too an guess what that's what made me fall in love with him!!!! 💖💖

@sexii_diiva, good point about breaking up. But I guess in my situation I'm a strong believer in fighting for your marriage. And that it's a constant battle and you can't get lazy. It would take a lot for me to be a single mom. Such as abuse. Or anything harmful to my child. Other than that. I'll invest my entire life into our relationship like I have the past 4 years! I gave up an entire life at home. Family. A well paying job. Friends. All the be with my husband 24-7 for the year that he traveled for work! I could have easily stayed here and continued my daily life and saw him every 4-6 weeks for 2 days at a time. But I chose to give up my life to be with him full time. All about sacrifices!

for those of you that say your man...then what if y'all break up then what? my kid comes 1st

my kids get their plates then my husband, an adult can wait but a child can't

@phasion, thank you ma'am! I'm very strong minded about this topic! And this it honestly can completely ruin a relationship if your man doesn't feel like he's your man. But more like a sperm donor!

@camdensmama well stated

@ainsleighsmommy, plus the way I look at it. Is he was my HUSBAND first. Before he was the father of my child. It's my job. Priority. And responsibility to make sure he always feels like my husband. Not just the father of my child!

@camdensmama, exactly!

My kids come first

My husband comes first! Always. I'll do anything for my son. But in the end. He's not my life partner. His father is. Doesn't mean I won't love my son unconditionally. Or teach him right from wrong. But in the end. I refuse to let his life choices alter my life or strain my marriage. And I guess since everyone responded to the whole eating thing. I guess it depends on the night. Obviously we will eat as a family. And I'll serve all of our plates at once. Well kids and hubby. I always make mine last!

I'm a mother 1st.... And I would definitely feed my kids first as well!!!

kids come first always

My Kids Will ALWAYS Be First. ! If it wasnt for my husband they wouldn't be in the world, but that's my seed i had them so i feel they should be put before anybody besides God.. (My daddy didnt put his women before me) far as eating, we all eat together nobody eat before nobody. If my babies hungry they get a snack.

I'd feed my kid first. .

We all eat together at my house, dinner is placed on the table and everyone makes their plate, say grace and then eat.

I like the saying about dire situations.... Man needs his strength to find and provide the food. But on a regular day... No