I feel absolutely useless. I feel alone. I feel unappreciated. I feel like I'm the only one who puts…

I feel absolutely useless. I feel alone. I feel unappreciated. I feel like I'm the only one who puts forth effort to keep the house clean and I don't have much effort to put forth anymore. I wish people would help me. for more than 5 minutes. I wish I could spend time with my fiance that doesn't involve him sleeping and me laying in bed with him staring at a wall cause I can't sleep but he wants to cuddle or him "spending time with me" by playing timescale while I watch tv. I wish I didn't lose my makeup in moving. I wish I could afford more. I wish I still had friends to hang out with.I wish I didn't feel huge. I wish my fiance would make me feel better when I say I feel huge instead of agreeing and laughing. I wish my dad didn't procrastinate so much. I feel awful right now. was crying in the bathtub (my safe place) till the sobs were gagging me to the point of throwing up and seeing spots.