@alanis.mama13, yeah I see where you're coming from. Make sure you do not do anything disrespectful or bad because your DH will side with his mom. I would talk to your DH about what is bothering you. Maybe he is like my DH and does not see it at first. Give him things to look for and tell him how deeply she hurts your feelings. And you're right I wouldn't get involved in confronting her I would keep my mouth shut. Any problems that you have with your mother-in-law's gossiping I would tell your DH to deal with it and make it right. Besides it has more of an impact if they hear these things from their sons. If she plays the victim let her there is nothing you can do about it. You have your own family now and that's all you have to worry about.

@babybean0015, I go and see my hubby once in a while but recently my mother in law has been triggering me in such small ways.. I let things go but she talked bad about me with one of my aunts and made it seem like she's a victim idk what I did to her but one thing is that everyone was telling me to be careful with her because she's known to be nosy I would defend her and at while it took me this long to realize why people would tell me. She said I became a bitch and that I changed and more hurtful things that are also private.. It upset me why would she go off and tell my aunt my this and top it off my aunt is nosy too but I don't want to confront her about it because I'll just set my aunt in trouble and I wouldn't want beef with them I haven't told my hubby nothing but way in the big gibing I had told him I didn't want to move in with his mom and he told her and I feel if I talk to him about this he's going to tell her and then she's going to arm a huge fight with me or talk bad about me

@TV donjuan, when you would tell your in law what's bugging you like how would you talk to her and tell her? Like how would she take it?

@alanis.mama13, After getting to know my DH siblings they were nice but after time went on I will say that the apple doesn't fall far from the maternal tree. They were raised by her so they are going to have some of her personality by default. Keeping your distance means (for me) to keep your business to your self. Don't live with her! and keep visits to a minimum. You only have to see them for birthdays and holidays really. My DH was hesitant at first to believe how I was treated, he just did not see it. As the years went by he actually started to pick up on his family's behavior toward me. He tried to fix it but it was too late. He is now 100% on my side because I never disrespected his family. But like I said in my other post I've put up with my inlaws for a long time so I have no more patience with them. It's sad but I have an AMAZING husband that's stands by me

me and my MIL get along ok but when she starts in on other family or complains to me about everything I literally let her talk nod my head and dont respond..im not one to argue or say much but the other day she set me off I went off on her and she left it be...sometimes I just have to let things go but only to a certain extent...dont ever let anybody run over u especially when its in laws...just set them in their place once and they will leave u be...but honestly if u dont wanna move in dont...u dont want to be stressed or upset in ur later weeks..its not good for baby...

@babybean0015, I get along just fine with his father and his oldest sister he has twin sisters and they don't talk to me they always do faces. What would you do to keep your distance? Would your hubby be in your side?

I know from experience that it only gets worse! When I did live with her 9 years ago she turned into a complete control freak. She was also very nosy and would say hurtful things. I tried everything on my part to have a good relationship with my in laws. It's been 11 years and their behavior toward me has gotten so bad my DH and I don't talk to them anymore including his siblings. I would say to be nice but keep you distance.

Yeah for the most part. if she starts to rant, we don't fuel it by responding. and I don't think they'll pick n argument with u because their sons will get mad their arguing with the mother of their child

When I was parent I stayed at my fiancé's moms apartment with her. She was nice. We got along well & she loved me and I loved her so we never had issues. But she also never left her room so sometimes it was like she wasn't there. The only downside was that she smoked and so did everyone else. & being pregnant I didn't really wanna be around that long.

@blackjbutterfly14, I see do you feel comfortable staying there? As in getting out the room to do things around the house?

I stay with my hubby n his mother. She straight. not My favorite. we have our differences but for the most part. She stay in her room. The only time we socialize nd that is sometimes is during dinner. rules were set before we moved in together so she don't do things to argue about