so I need advice, my father and I haven't spoken in years, he left when i was four but we tried to have a relationship…

as long as you tried, love there is nothing else you can do... but keep trying.

thank you very much ladies, I don't expect him to want to be in my babies life, I guess it would just make me feel better knowing I tried I guess. I don't know.

I'm 29 and never really had my biological parents in my life. My mother and I go back and forth with arguing and not getting along. My father plays no role in my life nor his grandchildrens lives. He hasn't been there and has broken many promises to me. When you have tried and gave it your all, like me, I was thinking since I had my first baby on the way he would change and be there for me and his grandchildren, that was false, a person changes only for themselves, a child will or will not solidify your relationship with your parents. You can honor your mother and your father till your death bed but you don't have to put yourself through extra stress and heartache, that shit hurts. I'm 29 and barely realizing that I don't need people who don't need me, no matter how many times I've voiced my needs and wants for a Mother and father, they still didn't change. Before your father can be the father that he needs to be, he must come to terms with what went wrong and then from there he is able to heal and so are you. Dont put on extra stress especially if you're pregnant, I had to let go of that relationship recently since it was causing me to stress and have anxiety while pregnant. He blocked you and unfriended you on Facebook instead of talking to you like a "father" should. Seems like he still isn't ready even when we are ready for that solid relationship. I have been ready since the age of 13, I'm still waiting...... only time will tell. You can still love your parents or parent with all your heart but that does not mean you need to continue being hurt by him or them. If all other outs have failed, move on and just pray that one day he will see in him what you see in him. This post hits home.

I would reach out but don't expect anything. When I reached out to my birth mother I had no expectations of who she would be or how she would act that way I would not get hurt.

I personally wish I would have never attempted, it did nothing but break my heart

@niagracia, I don't think you read what I put lol that's what I said after she has made her effort of reaching out to him there's no reason to reach out to him again .

@sking092192, exactly at that's what I'm saying at least you reached out to your dad because he's your father but what he does after you said look dad this is you grandchild that's in his hands . You've already did what you had to do your conscience is clear .

@niagracia, but that's it he may change because he has a grandchild on the way don't write him off because of what he has done also by doing so you're making a decision for the child the child has the right to know his grandfather . But I'm a firm believer of honor thy mother and thy father and your days will remain longer . But that advice like you said is your opinion and isn't family oriented at all but out of hate because of what he have done .

@phasion, if he fail to be in her life why would she allow him to hurt her son? The pain she felt not having him around is the pain her son will feel asking where grandpa, why can't I go see grandpa?? Excuse me but that is my opinion. Why is she going to chase someone who doesn't reach out to her either. If he doesn't make an effort after she tried why should she bother wasting time?

I tried to reconnect with my dad with my baby, he litarlly used her to have pictures taken with her to show off to his church buddies then never had anything to do with either of us again.. so it's really just how you feel on the matter

@mommathesing, it's hurtful that he has unfriend you and blocked your number but as you said yourself that is still your father . Reach out to him if you can because he does have a grandchild on the way . Whether he wants to do for his grandchild or not that is up to him but let him make that decision . Be the bigger person in this situation and when you talk to him don't be mad, just be cordial like I just called to tell you that I am pregnant and you have a grandchild on the way. Love you and I hope you will be able to be apart of his/her life. That's it and see what he says.

@niagracia, that's the wrong way of thinking and you will never prosper that way that is still her father

No he blocked you out of his life already