My brother is home from deployment & asked to stay with me. I told him that was fine, but we would need him to pitch in…
My brother is home from deployment & asked to stay with me. I told him that was fine, but we would need him to pitch in for bills and groceries. Meanwhile it's my bf, my daughter, my step daughter, my brother, & me all living in a 2 be house. I'm sure he has ptsd, and I'm trying to be understanding, but he is currently receiving $3000 from the army a month for the next month & has $10,000+ in the bank, & everytime I ask him for money he gets shitty. And refuses to go get an apartment, even though a 1 bedroom here costs like $300 a month. Like I asked him for money to go to the grocery and he threw a 20 at me. That's it. And when he gets angry, he throws things and slams doors. I can't have that in the same house as my baby. I don't know what to do.
Trezelle·
В ожидании первенца
You have to try to understand what he is dealing with... Was e in a war zone?? The military is a really difficult career choice. Maybe try talking to him on his terms. Ask him why he won't get his own place etc.
missing9user·
Мама троих детей
Kick his ass out !!! You don't have to put up with that especially with your baby in the house !! He has enough money to go live somewhere & he can apply for veteran benefits and they may offer housing for him since he's a veteran .
missing117user·
Мама дочки (8 лет), беременна (26 нед.)
He needs help. Don't just kick your brother out. I'm in the military myself and right now it's some stuff that he needs to talk about. He don't know who to talk to so maybe you should take him to the nearest VA so they check on him.
mamas_mia·
Мама дочки-младенца
@trezelle, yea he was in a war zone. And I'm trying to my best to be understanding. But I myself am deal with post partum depression, & j can't have this kinda behavior around my baby. I've asked him why, and he said he doesn't wanna waste away all his money in the bank and wants to wait until he gets a job, which is fine and dandy and all, but I'm on maternity and money is tight and it's not my bfs job to baby him and pay all his bills like a child. I'm just so stuck. I don't wanna kick him out, but I can't keep feeling like I have no room to say anything in my own house.
mamas_mia·
Мама дочки-младенца
@babydavis915, ive told him he needs to talk to someone. Even if it's just me and he's venting, that he can't keep it all bottled up. But he won't. And I can't make him.
Trezelle·
В ожидании первенца
You should always be able to say what you feel. Don't belittle him but maybe you and your boyfriend need to have a sit down conversation with him. A lot of times people who come back from combat have a very hard time transitioning to civilian life.. Don't kick him out! That's your brother. If he doesn't try to understand what you and your boyfriend has to say then maybe you can help him find a place. It's not about babying him, it's about realizing that he is dealing with something and he feels alone...
missing117user·
Мама дочки (8 лет), беременна (26 нед.)
@mamas_mia, Yeah you can't make him...he will eventually come around it takes time for them to feel comfortable talking about it. I don't understand what he is going through but I have seen ppl that have been through it and over time they finally talk about it. Hopefully he feels sage and secure to talk to you about it soon. You can always go to the VA and let them know how he's acting and they will do something.
missing117user·
Мама дочки (8 лет), беременна (26 нед.)
*safe
mamas_mia·
Мама дочки-младенца
I may do that. Thank you.
Dana·
В ожидании первенца
Start setting clear expectations of how much you want for food, etc per month. And let him know if he doesn't agree he can go freeload off someone else! Family or not you shouldn't get used if he's got the money and isn't struggling to pay. Good luck!
mamas_mia·
Мама дочки-младенца
Exactly my point @danamarie .if he was struggling, I wouldn't mind helping him. That's what family is for. But he's screwing me and my family over because he's being greedy. That on top of his attitude has got me about to pull my hair out.
Dana·
В ожидании первенца
Exactly! I've let my brother live with me for free when he was laid off. But he never did anything disrespectful and helped out. Just doesn't seem fair for you to foot the bill if he isn't struggling. I hate to give him tough love and kick him out but maybe that's what he needs.