This is a little long, sorry.
I've said it before, but I feel like it needs to be said again.
My why.
2014 was one of the best and worst years in my entire life.
September brought the second love of my life, my son. I became a mother and my whole world was flipped upside down, in a good way :)
Then came October. I gained a healthy little brother, but 2 days later, my world came crashing down. I lost the woman who gave me life, my best friend. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish she were here.
November was a blur. The first month without my mom was the hardest. I was a new mother, still living with my dad. I ended up having to quit my job because we couldnt afford a baby sitter. It was hard.
Then December came along. One day I was scrolling through instagram and saw a post about It Works.
Now here I am 4 months later, so glad I took that leap of faith and said "How do I start?"
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This day will always be the best day of my life. It's the day I gave birth to the most beautiful, precious little girl the world has ever had.
I swear he makes my day!
My SS came over and first thing he did was hug me and said happy Mother's Day! I swear I cried when I went to lay down in bed, I literally just walked in the door from an hour walk, I took off my shoes and I hear a knock it's him and grandpa Phil lol and I swear this boy is amazing lol.
Came in Sunday night to be induced and under went the most scary events of my life just to bring my baby girl into the world. Induction failed, my epidural in my c section failed so I felt being cut open, then I had a blood hemorrhage... 6 days later and 2 days PP here we are, healthy and ready to be home. I love my baby girl so much.
Got to the hospital at 4 am to start my pitocin, well.. I was put on the drip at 430 am , and was 4cm dilated and 80 percent effaced, an hour later. The nurse came in to check me, hours later, and I was at 6 cm. I got the epidural at 6cm.. But it didn't work for me, no more than 20 minutes later, I couldn't take the pain, I was screaming and crying.. And felt everything.. most terrible pain ever, I called for my nurse to come in and she checked me again, said I was ready to deliver, babys head ...
Because I can't sit here and watch Bolt for the 8,000th time, let's take a trip down memory lane!
I lost my best friends mom (my second mommy) in March, then a month later I lost my dad, 2 months after that I lost my job, and I ended the year miscarrying. 2014 www my worst year ever. It takes time to grieve. You'll probably cry. You'll probably be mad. You'll feel so many mixed emotions where you feel like you're going crazy. All of that is normal. If I've learned anything, it's that it's ok to cry and feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. I hope things get better over time.