Ladies, my husband watches porn and lies to me about it when I ask. I have calmly talked to him about it several times letting him know that I'm not comfortable with it due to it giving him obvious unrealistic expectations of his big pregnant wife. I feel like it's cheating in a way especially since he pays for live chats with other women. It's starting to break me down and I noticed I began blaming myself which I shouldn't do...
I feel like I'm not attractive enough or good enough to meet his online expectations. I just don't know what to do anymore. It really hurts knowing that he is not only watching other women, but paying for it as well. It really bothers me and I can't turn to anyone to talk about this because I don't want to give a bad impression of my husband to anyone we know. Any advice or two cents that could maybe help me? /:
@k_ray I found an interesting article randomly on facebook about porn that I feel you should read and maybe show to your husband when you feel the time is right :) ссылка
Thank you so much @brie127! Very wise words :) And I had no idea I could do that @firstbaby_girl
if you share a bank account tell the bank what to watch for and tell them not to let the transaction go through.
@k_ray I pray, for your sake and his, that he follows through. this is the time to work on your relationship and discuss your goals and views in life. now is the time to build your support system and trust with one another. to take things to a whole new level of yourselves. I will pray for you both in finding your trust and inner strength as a couple 😊
Thank you for understanding @brie127! It is a complicated thing that a lot of women don't appreciate and deal with. I of course can take a look at our bank account and see if he buys anything, and if I see that he did I will check our internet history. I found a way to block it out (as far as I know) through the internet and it hasn't happened since. We had a long and deep discussion (again) about how it makes me feel and what it does to me emotionally and mentally. I think he finally realized that I truly hurt when he watches it and that considering all that I have tried to be everything he wants and more, he has opened his eyes and put it to an end. Right now it's just a waiting game to see if he follows through...hopefully he can stay on the right track.
he doesn't use his tablet anymore either so I don't check it, we don't have internet for him to use his tablet lol
@k_ray at the beginning of my fiances and i's relationship, I found some on porn sites on his tablet. idk if it was from before me or after we started dating but I put an end to that real quick. we've now been together almost 2 years and I check his phone pretty often. he hasn't done it since. thank god because we are getting married on June 7th! In my opinion I feel as if it is cheating as well. I wouldn't want him getting off to anyone who isn't and wasn't myself. I straight up told him exactly how I felt about it, because at the beginning of our relationship is when I got pregnant with my second (Mt first is not his) so I was extremely hormonal and insecure and I wasn't about to have another baby by another man who was a complete pig (which he is not but I thought that when I first found those sites in his tablet) and ever since I put a stop to it, he doesn't even seem like he wants anyone else or even wants to look at anyone else. which is a blessing :) I hope everything works out for you and that your man will finally listen and realize. porn is a serious addiction, my step dad always watched it a couple years into his relationship with my mom. I thought it was so wrong. I could only imagine how My mother had felt, they're no longer together though
@addisonamormommie, If you're into that then that's yalls call, but as far as my marriage goes I want to be the only woman my husband gets off too, he shouldn't have to pay for live chats and go on dating sites. Not only is it a slap in the face after being cheated on so much, but it's disappointing and hurtful knowing that he has to find an alternative. It's wrong and not how we were raised to be. And good for you @babynova12.5.14 for having a man who understands that value of his own woman being enough. He vowed for it when yall married! You are very lucky. And @sinabear hopefully he will grow up as well as my husband. Once you tie the knot, especially in my book, having each other for all needs and wants is all you need.
I wouldn't be okay with my man watching it. both of us just think its gross and cheap... just not for us.. not bashing anyone who does watch... but paying for it and doing live chats us definitely cheating. he really needs to stop that. it's such a slap in the face to you. I hope things vet better.
I see where your coming from with him "paying" for it . but as far as watching it I personally don't see anything wrong with it . I watch it . my bf watch it . sometimes we will watch it together . lately I've been hurting & etc with my pregnacy so my mood for having sex is random . sometimes he'll watch it next to me , get off and go to sleep . I guess we just have a understanding freak natured relationship lol
Don't get me wrong ladies, I love my husband with all I have abs always will. He is an incredible husband and I can't imagine of what an incredible father he will be. It's just this one thing that I wish could change. I've tried outfits to spice things up, different positions, aggression, taking control and letting him take control, which he loves each of these. Still continues to watch porn though...
Thank you very much for your advice @dollface_j3y. And @areneeb I am so glad I am not the only one who sees that. I think he gets so mad when I confront him about it because he is emberassed or mad he got caught? Who knows. Regardless, there's no excuse.
@d0llface_j3y, it seriously is an addiction ! its crazy how defensive n mad a guy gets when u confront him about porn. @k_ray
It's an addiction and needs to be addressed by a professional. Intervention would most likely be your best bet because he has to chose to get the help or it won't do anything so best of luck hope he realizes it will affect your family
Thank you @areneeb, it's hard and hurts. I have talked to him more than I can count about this and other situations throughout dating and even after we got married. Such as the porn thing and finding him on dating or "hook up" websites. Like, did everything he vow to me not mean anything?
It makes me feel so insecure, which I was enough already. I hate the idea if watching other women when you have a woman who takes care of you and loves you unconditionally and goes to bed next to you every night. I even asked him, "How can you watch it knowing it hurts me?" And his answer every time is "Idk". He is taking money out of our savings for our baby and that goes toward moving out to watch this stuff. It disgusts me, especially considering he had pulled out over $200 for it and over drew his account and went negative a couple times to watch it. It seems like an addiction to him. I just don't think he understands what that does to me and how it makes me feel. No he isn't physically cheating on me, but he is paying to watch other women talk to him and do whatever they want for him. It's like creaking prostitution in a way. @dollface_j3y And the fact that even your own husband agrees that it's cheating, that tells me mine has a problem.
dang, my bf used to watch that crap all the time. never paid for it that i know of, but it is so wrong. I'm glad he decided not to do it anymore.. idk jus feel like its disrespectful. maybe u could talk about it to him some more and how it bothers you.. but in the end, they can still always hide it, erase history, or whatever. good luck girl, wish i had better advice tho :o haha but they only change when they want to :/
Maybe God is giving me a sign of help! @be ie127 thank you❤️