I'm back where I was four years ago feeling MORE suicidal than ever!!! my whole fucking life is falling apart. people…

Yey!! I'm happy you guys work things out and that your feeling a lot better now, happy for both of you ;) @14emathews

@prayingforpink.ftm44 its been a journey that's for sure but we just get stronger through all the bad :)

yay! way to work through it, I am so happy for you guys! he is lucky to have someone like you who caees about his sobritey and doing well in school :)

so happy it all worked out!

thank you so much @2615mommi2b & @angelicarobertmoya & @prayingforpink.ftm44 I was able to sit down with my man for a good couple of hours at McDonalds. he explained EVERYTHING. his mom is currently on disability for her ankle...which I've known...and had a hard time getting around this morning therefore Gary was late to school. if you have a certain grade point average the school grants seniors a priv which is like a free period. some boys were in the cafeteria that morning and when Gary walked in they asked him if he wanted any brownies. he asked if they were normal and they swore they were. he took and ate three of them. by the time he got to first hour he was feeling funny and knew something was up. as for the backpack it turns out Gaby did write it as that wasn't my mans handwriting at all and in the past she would write her name on his bag. she's known to change her name from G to the next week Gabby to the next week Gaby. irks the crap out if me but whatever. as for his grades he got called down to the counselors office today because they want him to retake his ACT. he got a 14 on it and they feel he can do a little better. since they're just beginning the second week of second semester he isn't failing anything. Gary's coach and I are on the same page about his grades and plan to help him when he needs it. so basically here we are again with my sister starting shit. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so sweet and talking to me and helping me through this. I appreciate it more than anything. I wish y'all were here so I could give you a hug and a personal thanks but its pretty cold in Michigan right now. you've helped me realize a lot about love and trust and to be a little fighter. I'm just blessed to have you stop and comment instead of continue scrolling so thank you <3

Agree lol food always helps @2615mommi2b @14emathews

Good luck honey this is something you guys can work overcome and work it out, if you need to talk I'm here just like the rest of us mommies to listen and give you confidence and advice @14emathews

and ur at mcdonalds treat urself to some salty fries a greasy cheeseburger n a shake lol food always helps

yeah if he was failing he would be on the bench not playing. and if he is that open n that willing to change for u then i wouldnt believe her. and if he did have brownies with pot (depending how the person made them) im sure u will be able to tell, n for other drugs in them...What else would be in them? bc u u wouldnt mix a drug that is a downer with a drug thats an upper. so i highly doubt that! n for the gaby/gabby thing maybe it is on his bag but maybe someone wrote it to try n get a laugh out of it. especially if its spelt wrong. i wouldnt think to much n of anything ur sister said definitely doesnt sound like stuff ur bf would have done.

good luck! this is def something you two can overcome with honesty and love! feel free to msg if you ever need to talk.

@angelicarobertmoya and @prayingforpink.ftm44 I'm on my way to talk to him right now at McDonalds. I'm feeling pretty calm I just don't want him to blow up on me. and we created this family of ours and have worked so hard to keep it alive. I just feel that its my sister starting shit and that hurts too

@2615mommi2b, yeah my boyfriend is a year younger than me so this is his senior year of highschool right now. I trust him with every piece of me. we had trust issues in the past but now he will let me go through his phone and whatnot. he's given up smoking weed and drinking alcohol for me because I couldn't stand that about him. today my sister comes home and says did you know Gary had two pot brownies before school today and it was most likely combined with other drugs and he walked into school the SAME exact time as tona did. she then says have you seen his backpack the bottom reads gaby and Gary...which is a girl he fucked sophomore year. they don't talk anymore thanks to me. but that girl spells her name Gabby. so I want to see if its in his handwriting. my sister then says he's failing all his classes but if he was failing all of them wouldnt he be kicked off the basketball team??

im sorry girl:( i really do hope it gets better. I would just try to collect all your thoughts and then sit down with your bf when you can and talk to him. I always find talking in person is better cuz you can read their facial expressions and body language too. til then just try to breathe and (hard as it is) push it out of your mind! naps help me to pass the time in those situations too!

Sometimes people say things that aren't true to hurt us, if you love your hubby and he loves you and wants to be with you don't let your sister take that love and trust you guys have, you guys are about to have a beautiful little blessing a family, don't let your sister ruin that, if your insecure about something talk to your hubby about it I hope you can work things out for the best of the baby... @14emathews

@prayingforpink.ftm44 I've suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've been medicated for about the same time and hospitalized twice. I need to know if this is just saying shit because she knows it WILL get to me or if what she's saying is true. I'm trying my hardest to be calm for my little one. this just all sucks!

there ya go! u said it urself ur sister has never liked him n u only have problems when she says something, i think thats the whole problem n solution right there. dont listen to what she has to say about him unless she can back it up with solid proof.

@angelicarobertmoya I know this little baby is feeling things my stomach hurts and so does my chest. I'm on my way now to talk to him...my dad is driving me as he didn't want the baby and I to be hurt anymore than we already are. I just want everything to be okay

my bf was in highschool 3 months still after i graduated early n it killed me bc i heard things n i made myself think things that he coukd have been doing, but it all came down to knowing the truth n trusting him. its hard to try not to think about it but clear ur mind of bad thoughts n focus on u n baby

I know it gets hard I have suffered from depression for a very long time as well; I used to cut myself and put myself in the hospital etc. but now I cant even let myself think those things. I am carrying a child and what hurts me hurts them. NEVER let another person drive you to hurt or look down on yourself.. that was one of the hardest things for me to learn but its true. the only person who should affect you in the way is your baby. friends & even boyfriends can be replaced if they are causing this much harm to your life. you and your baby... cant be replaced. I know it is all easier said than done, but take it one day at a time. find even one person that is there for you and makes you comfortable, talk to them when you feel this way. I promise you, you will make new friends. and when this baby comes it will light up yoir life in ways you didnt know possible. in the meantime it might be worth it to talk to your dr about safe meds to take for depression.

@2615mommi2b I know we can make it I just need to know the truth. he is honestly my life and I love him more than anything. he makes me so so happy. but its whenever my sister says something that's when he and I have problems. my sister has always hated my man from the beginning. he's changed a lot since then

That's what the devil wants to ruin you, to see you full of hate please don't give him that pleasure it's not worth it, all I can tell you is pray hun pray ask God to help you go through this and give you comfort at this moment, things are hard for you right now but remember your pregnant and your baby feels everything try to relax and calm down pls... @14emathews

and dont always believe something u hear without proof bc i have done that n got all worked up just to look stupid bc it was a lie to break us up.

@angelicarobertmoya everything would be fine if he wasn't in the damn highschool he's at. he's only got a few short months left but can I hold out that long??

i know how u feel. my friends all left me n the one friend i thought i had now is to busy to be my friend i guess. i honestly spend each day home alone while my bf works n i dont text or talk to anyone bc its pointless trying when my "friends" wont reply anyways. and the whole bf thing i know how that goes, i have gone rounds with my bf bc it seems i either find out shit or someone slips up n bust him out. but its not worth putting urself in harms way nor worth ur life. i know the pain of loneliness n i know the pain of being crazy in love with someone to only hear they did u wrong n how hard it is to think u will ever be happy again after it , but i promise u whether u forgive him things can turn around or if u break up i promise u, u will end up being happier whether its u n ur child or u n ur child n another guy.

@angelicarobertmoya I am in the WORST pain of my entire life. my heart hurts so much! no matter how hard I try I can't stop crying. a part of me hates my sister for even opening her damn mouth to me because I wouldn't be in this situation right now if she would've kept it shut. I don't know who's right and who's wrong. I don't know the truth or the right answer. everything was GOOD between us and now its like BOOM I'm being shot at and won't make it

Remember you have a baby to think about and his going to need his mommy try to be strong hun, atleast for your baby you know...

Don't say that hun, I know how you feeling right now life is not easy but no matter how hard life gets, always remember, GOD has a plan for you and it’s NOT to take your life! Hang in there... Remember you once said: You was always taught that things aren't placed upon us that we can't handle. were warriors. we can get through things and so can you <3

@2615mommi2b I can't. all my friends left me when I found out I was pregnant. my sister came home from school today with some shit on my boyfriend and I CANT take it anymore. I'm SO DONE! this is gonna end up either cutting/burning relapsing to a fucking hospital or ending me life for good

dont let what others say get u down. best thing u can do is try ur hardest to prove them wrong n be the best damn mother u can be. ive had my fair share of times i have felt that giving up was the only good solution but then i just tell myself im worth more n have potential, so i cut all negative people out n focus on me (and now my baby ) n only think positive.