Things never to say to a pregnant:

1. Wow, your husband must make some big babies!”

What to Say Back: “Yep, he’s a keeper!”

2. “Do you know who the father is?”

What to Say Back: “Your husband.” (Okay, we know you wouldn’t actually say this, but her reaction would be pretty priceless.)

3. “You’re definitely having a girl since your butt is getting so big!”

What to Say Back: “I know -- it’s improving my dance moves like crazy!”

4. “Wow, check out those stretch marks!”

What to Say Back: “My husband and I think they’re sexy.”

5. “I hope it comes out normal.”

What to Say Back: “Well, no matter what, I’ll be sure to teach him the manners you seem to lack.”

6. “Aren’t you too old to have another baby?”

What to Say Back: (Point to belly) “Guess not!”

7. “I bet you’re glad you had her prematurely so that you wouldn’t get so big.”

What to Say Back: “Actually, I care more about my baby’s health than gaining weight.”

8. “Is it the same dad as your first?”

What to Say Back: “Maybe not. I never thought of that.”

9. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

What to Say Back: “Yes. Thanks for asking, though!”

10. “You’ll never sleep again!”

What to Say Back: “I’m looking forward to many sleepless nights with my new baby.”

11. “Are you having triplets? You look huge!”

What to Say Back: “How many months along are you?”

12. “Did this happen before or after the wedding?”

What to Say Back: “Who knows? We’ve always had a great sex life!”

13. “You’re pregnant? I just thought you were eating too much!”

What to Say Back: “It’s a little weird that you were keeping tabs on my diet.”

14. “Are you sure you should be having another baby?”

What to Say Back: “Are you sure you should be asking such a rude question?”

15. “You should have a c-section. They’re so easy.”

What to Say Back: “I wouldn’t ever call surgery easy.”