
If you wouldn’t want your own children to experience the exact childhood you had... it’s okay to call it trauma.
We all start here, I believe:
“I don’t know if it was that bad…”
That question bridges our inner knowing that something was off, but we often confuse ourselves because we lack the tools and perspective to name it.
We don’t have a frame of reference for what a healthy family system actually looks like—just hints.
We don’t have specific help to guide us in understanding what qualifies as abuse.
We don’t have families willing to be real or honest about what the family was truly like.
And we don’t have much support to face the dark period of admitting we weren’t safe as children.
But you can ask yourself one question:
Would you put a child through what you went through?
Your answer might be what you need to start your recovery.
-Patrick Teahan
Childhood trauma educator, fellow survivor, and advocate of the Relationship Recovery Process.
My childhood wasn’t bad until I was about 10, and honestly most of it was out of my parents control but there were also areas they slightly failed at. I should’ve been in therapy asap and I think if I were it would’ve changed a lot of things for me. It changed me as a person emotionally and mentally and I’d never want my kids to experience that. The guilt I feel was never meant for me to carry.
I was parentified - I have strong memories of making sure my siblings did their chores, homework, went to bed on time. I know I watched them a lot too. A neighbor even called my mom out on it when being “parentified” wasn’t a thing. It’s hard at times to call being extra responsible a trauma, but I’m sure as shit not making the same choices for my kids.