Как определить у ребёнка аутизм или синдром дефицита внимания?

I don’t even know where to start or how to begin and this is gonna sound like I’m just talking out of my ass but I need help..

My oldest was born with a chromosome abnormality and were in the process of going through the geneticist for all that, but how do know if my kid has some kind of SPD or autism? Literally everything is a struggle.

Ex:

Clothing-to tight, to itchy, the seams always feel “funny”

always aggressive, pain doesn’t even phase him, has no desire to pick up a pencil to write or anything( I have to almost force him to color, just so he can strengthen his hand muscles) he has no sense of boundaries at all. (I know he’s a kid but he over does it to everyone, even strangers) the wind blowing is a big one, also sometimes touch. There’s days where he wants to hug all over me and then there’s days where he won’t even let me rub his feet. He has such a high tolerance for pain it’s ridiculous and sometimes he won’t even know he’s hurt until there’s blood or someone points it out.

I know there’s no doctors on here and this isn’t a medical website or app but there are plenty of us who struggle with our kids and I know that there are a lot of mothers on here with autistic children and special needs children and so I kind of need a little insight, I do have a pediatricians appointment next Friday I am writing everything down and I will be bringing it up.