One of the things an absolute meditation rock star guru named Sharon Salzberg (who had an absolute shit childhood and adolescence) teaches is about how life is a series of events that flow and happen, and frequently things done turn out how we thought they would, and the most skillful thing we can learn is to simply begin again without judgment and anger towards ourselves because it takes energy and time stewing it over. It isn't a skillful response.

That bit of information has really helped me. I was always a huge analyzer and rehasher and in the end it was almost always a complete waste of my time.

Keep working with your doctor and therapist, hon. There is a lot to be anxious about right now and people had anxiety long before the pandemic. I meditate every single day and it's hard work not to get totally burned out and anxious right now.