Please help: 🙋🏽 ♀ I told my Husbands Parents that I didn’t want my son around her sister and her…
Please help: 🙋🏽♀️
I told my Husbands Parents that I didn’t want my son around her sister and her kids because her kid chocked my son and he’s much older than my child and she tried to fight me while I was pregnant. I told her and my husband told her 3 different occasions. My son tells me he was around her again last week when I asked them to bring my son home and they didn’t and lied about where my son was. Not to mention I was disobeyed , they didn’t asked me , and didn’t tell me it’s been almost 2 weeks and my son had to mention it. I’m at the point where I’m sick of the disrespect and trying to be respectful because it’s my husbands parents but I’m a mother too and I’m going to need the same respect that it’s taking out of me not to snap to be out into doing what I ask with my child!
Any suggestions?
Icebergahead·
Мама сына (10 лет)
They broke trust, I would not send him there if you feel he is unsafe.
Icebergahead··
Мама сына (10 лет)
@luv_2b_amomma, maybe have her come over?
Toni 🌸🌟💕··
ughh !! I really don’t want to have to look at her right now
XryztalRoze··
You have that talk with DH, he has that talk with MIL, and together you have a talk with your son explaining that while grandma loves him and he loves her that as a family you have rules and those rules must be followed at all times. Tell him that he can call his grandma and write her letters, draw her pictures, etc but for now he won't be going over bc grandma has to follow mommy and daddy's rules just like he does. Explain that it may be hard for him to understand but sometimes grandma's don't always know what's best the way mommy and daddy do so you're trying to work with her so she understands the rules and can do better the next time.
XryztalRoze·
And that's when you and DH have a serious sit down talk, together, and he takes a stand for you. He needs to speak up and draw the line. Time for some distance for awhile and he must be the one to put his foot down and to be a strong daddy for his son. And a strong loving husband for his wife. Sorry mama! In law issues are not easy...
Toni 🌸🌟💕·
@xryztalroze, I agree so much with you!! My husband agreed he shared the save frustrations and that it was wrong and said to keep him away for a while and not say anything and I told him no I want them to know it’s not ok and I’m sick of it! I will have another talk with him tomorrow and yes the line has to be drawn.
XryztalRoze··
I'm happy you're on the same page with DH. That is the most important step forward. Now to follow through. It's tough being an adult child and wanting to have the relationship with your parent who doesn't yet understand they must now follow your rules. Delivery is everything. He has to speak with authority but not be a jerk for this to go well. Best wishes!
So Royal·
Мама сына (2 года), беременна (14 нед.)
Stop sending your child there, stop interacting with the sister. I wouldn't have ever sent any of my children over there after that choking incident. What were they going to tell you if he had ended up in critical condition? What will they tell you if he gets hurt by someone there? It does get complicated when the child is so attached. Do they all live together? Maybe your son can go when the sister isn't there, because it sounds like the grandparents are not the problem. Maybe you can go with him every time he goes?
Rusheeda·
Мама сына (2 года), беременна (35 нед.)
Honestly just don’t send your son around them if the grandparents want to see your son they should come to you or and outing where your included ..
Toni 🌸🌟💕··
I agree ! I don’t want them over right not because I’m still upset but I think they all be best. I’m so over the disrespect!
Lindsey·
As everyone else has said, I would no longer take my child there. Families need to know that in order to see a child, they need to respect the parents of said child. If they can’t do that, they won’t be a part of their life. Period. I would just point blank say that too. And I’d tell them that if they would like to see him, they can come by your house, after setting up a day & time with plenty of notice. Bc that’s what they get when they’re disrespectful & can’t be trusted.
Lindsey··
@luv_2b_amomma, when I was having issues with my in laws, I went a few months without them seeing my kids at all. And I explained to them that this was a result of their disrespectful behavior & that my child will not be around people that are so negative toward their mother. They finally eased up & I started letting them see them for an hour (max) every few weeks. And if they started to complain about how the arrangements were, I’d cut them off again for a few more months. And I did this for almost 2 years before they realized I wasn’t playing their games. At one point they didn’t see my kids for over 6 months. And still to this day, they’ve never been left alone with my kids again. I don’t do disrespect. Especially in front of, or around, my kids. I hope things get better for you.
Toni 🌸🌟💕··
I absolutely love this!!! You are no nonsense momma and I love it and I will definitely be taking notes and will implement this with my in laws. They didn’t see my son for 2 years after what happened in front of my son and to my son on his birthday so you would think that they would be respectful and know that we aren’t playing but i think this will be great! Thank you so much hun.
Lindsey··
yes girl! You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do!! It’s hard enough being a mom, you don’t need that added negativity!! Lol