today makes it a week since my mom died. i’m still in last week. i’m still trying to figure out…
today makes it a week since my mom died. i’m still in last week. i’m still trying to figure out where i failed her and why didn’t i see this coming. i’m wondering what i could have done differently so she would be here. i really can’t keep up with the days. my world stopped on the 13th. if it wasn’t for my kids i wouldn’t get out of bed. we miss her
so much. i feel so alone and lost. i’m trying to grieve in a healthy way. i’m trying to remember her and celebrate her in a healthy way. i can hear her now “ nicole you’re the strongest person i know,
you don’t need me girl, you take care of those kids and yourself. you have to keep living. the world doesn’t stop because i’m not in it. you do what you have to do for you and those kids and don’t you worry about me, i’m good” i’m kinda angry that she told my sister about how god was getting her ready but she didn’t tell me. she was trying to protect me and i guess didn’t want me to stress.
i’m sorry guys i keep posting about my mom but she was really all i had.
M0MM·
Keep posting. Death is so hard 😢
I’m sorry you’re heart hurts
Icebergahead·
Мама сына (9 лет)
🥺❤️❤️
Icebergahead·
Мама сына (9 лет)
Never be sorry, you are sharing such a delicate moment in your life and we choose to be a part of it. Stay strong and hold on❤️
She misses you all dearly.
JenX·
I would totally expect those days to run completely together for a while, hon. This was a loss that you weren't able to prepare for at all, and you were 100% witness to all of it. I truthfully don't think there is anything you could have done, you said it was a blood clot, right? Those are sneaky if someone isno complaining of leg or arm pain and swelling. There was no way to know.
Sistersmainpiece··
we think it was a blood clot. her dr isn’t requesting an autopsy. my mom had wounds on her legs from an autoimmune disorder. she had a nurse come out 3 times a week to change her wraps and dressings. her legs were always swollen and red. she had been fighting infection off and on. we think blood clot because the night before she said she had a new red hard spot with a line going up, i didn’t put two and two together. like 2 days before she said she had issues breathing and i told her go to the hospital but she said it wasn’t like that. she didn’t complain of it any more to me and her nurse came monday and her vitals were her normal. so i’ve basically been sitting her putting the puzzle together trying to give myself answers. she didn’t have any terminal illnesses, no major health issues. nothing to make her drop dead at 61.
JenX··
@dontblockmesis-imjustspeakingfacts if the nurse did vitals and didn't catch anything either, then I really do believe it wasn't enough to add up at the time to prevent it. You asked her to go to the hospital and she didnt want to go. You tried your best with the information you had. I don't know if the thought will comfort you, but the fact that your mom always had family with her must have been a huge comfort. So many people would have put your mom in assisted living or a nursing home. She was never alone, never lonely, and always surrounded by her lively and lovely family.
Natalie ·
Dont ever be sorry. We all here for you hun. Reach out to any of us at any time. Express your feeling. Letting it all out. Your mum would be so proud of you xxx
RayOfMySunShine·
I’m so sorry. And you don’t be sorry post as much as you need.
Moms know their children. She knew you would handle it differently. That’s why she didn’t say anything to you. She wanted you not to worry about her. You know her well enough to tell yourself exactly what she would say to you today.
It will be hard for a while. Especially because of the circumstances.
Hugs. The feelings you feel are normal. It’s a major loss. It hurts. My heart goes out to you. 🫂 hugs
jessica rivera·
Im so sorry my love i cant imagine your pain this is huge...you pour your heart out all you want..we gotchu!! Im so sorry for your lost boo my inbox is open.. stay strong my heart hurts for you 😢
Dusty ·
You did nothing wrong! That thought tore me apart with my brother I thought and thought and went over everything over and over it took me over a year to realize it wasn't my fault. It's not ur fault you did everything you could. Grief in the way that you need to it's different for everyone. Take your time you got this
Harley Quinn ·
I’ve been thinking of you. You did nothing wrong and please don’t be sorry. Post however much you need. ❤️
Heather·
Don’t be sorry for posting! It’s a huge deal and your life is upside down at the moment. This should be a safe place for you to vent and get your feelings out. I’m still so very sorry for your loss and I hope you and your wonderful children find peace
Steph·
I am so sorry hun. Losing a loved one isn’t easy and take as long as you need to grieve. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. ❤️