What is considered choking to you?
What is considered choking to you?
So long story short my friend and her 10 yr old and just turned 2 yr old stayed with me for 5 days because she’s in an abusive situation. until she left because we got into a disagreement. Her 2 yr old is rough with my girls. He will wrap his arms around their neck until he pins them to the ground or is trying to pin them to the ground. They can’t get out of his grip and are crying and usually myself removes him. He does this mostly to my 1 yr old. His mom yells at him and reacts aggressive back to him if she even corrects him. I tell and show him he has to be gentle and how to be gentle. I even praise him when he is being nice so he understands that’s the correct behavior. This has been an ongoing issue for months now. Yesterday we were outside and my 1 yr old was sitting in a chair beside me. He came up to her and hugged her first and I told him thank you so much for being gentle and showing love and right after that he starts to wrap his arm around her neck and I immediately corrected it. I said he tried to be nice but just had to get his choke in and she’s like he’s not choking her. He’s just a boy, he’s playing rough. He doesn’t know what choking is. It doesn’t matter if he knows that the word is choking, that’s what he’s doing and he does it to hurt her. There’s times where she’s in the room with them and I’m doing something and I’m hearing my girl crying and he’s on top of her and his arm wrapped around her and she can’t get away from him while his mom is sitting there down playing it. He does a lot of other stuff to her like push her, takes her things, hit her, try to sit on her. She said she told his dr about it yesterday and his dr said he’s just being a rough boy. I told her he sees aggression in his home and now he’s doing what he sees. So she got offended by what I said and packed their stuff and went back to her abusive situation. Boy or not it’s not acceptable.
*****·
My nephew is the same way, my son doesn’t even like to be near him because he jst pushes him to the floor or into the wall or grabs him or my daughter in a headlock and won’t let go .. he’s about to be 2 .. he thinks it’s okay to hit and be mean because my sister teaches him to fight and he also would always see it at his home with his parents fighting
IUIMom18·
My heart hurts for this 2 year old. He is definitely picking up on the abusive behavior and if she doesn't try to correct it now i believe she is going to have trouble in a few years. It's her job and the job of adults around him to tell him what he is doing is hurtful and he needs to be gentle with others.
I hope she gets away from her situation not just for her sake but for the kids.
My sister just got out of a bad relationship and the things my 3 year old niece and 7 year old nephew say it's truly heartbreaking and incredibly scary.
M0MM··
Agree 💯
JenX·
It's aggressive and malicious behavior and needs addressed. He knows he's doing wrong and he needs help. It will probably escalate over time. :(
Mama Coco·
It’s never too early to start teaching someone about respecting boundaries. Just because he’s a “rough boy” doesn’t mean he can’t learn your child doesn’t like to play that way and doesn’t like being touched that way.
It’s very sad that he’s so young and is already picking up the abusive behaviors he sees at home. I hope your friend is able to get out of her situation.
Sistersmainpiece·
I forgot to add she’s pregnant. I literally went to get her last week from her situation . Her boyfriend was threatening to beat her ass and was calling her all types of names. Called her 10 yr old a bitch. At her sons birthday party over the weekend her boyfriend again was threatening to beat her ass in front of his kids, my kids and her mom and sister. I got in front of her and pushed him out of her face. I keep telling her it’s not okay for them to see it. She was at my house so we could make a plan for her to leave permanently and be safe while leaving. Idk what’s going on with her parenting because she sleeps all day, she yelled at her son for waking up at 8am because she usually has him sleep in with her until 1 ish, he naps again at 6-9 and is up all night. Her daughter has grown up with my son since he was born. Yesterday my son told me she was asking him if he knew what gay was and that she’s going to have a gf when she gets older. She was telling him that hugging is nasty but kissing isn’t, she was telling him he should get a gf. 🤦♀️ I’ve tried to help her but she gets so defensive. I feel bad for the kids too.
M0MM··
She sounds depressed and sometimes when you’re in that black hole, you can’t breathe, let alone see that the boundaries are only in your head. I feel really bad for her, but you have to want to help yourself before anything changes.....there’s always welfare checks that you could request 🤷🏽♀️ maybe not right this second but give it a week or two and have someone go check the kids - not to be spiteful, but in accordance with your genuine concern.
Melinda Westad·
Hmmm let me guess, his mom lets him watch violent shows and movies with people wrestling or attacking people? He’s definitely imitating something he’s seen. I have a boy and he doesn’t do anything like that. She can’t just say “well he’s a boy.” I would just not get together with them until his behavior is corrected. I wouldn’t let my kids play with someone who is choking them or pinning them to the ground.
Mandy·
Omg this is super aggressive but unfortunately it sounds like a learned behavior....he probably sees his father being loving with his mother and choking her too...his little mind thinks it is normal ...maybe flip the script with her and make her realize that if she doesn't correct the behavior now he'll only get worse and being doing it to his children's mother one day....the children need therapy and so does she but that sounds like a long shot right now