Why do some men think they can bother with there kids when it suits them?
And threaten court because I won't just hand my kid over for contact.. It's been nearly 4 years!!!
Please someone say I'm not in the wrong
I feel like the worse person ever right now
I swear iv had enough today!
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We have been through court before I was so younge it was horrible so I really feel for you!! Wow what alot of money to spend out that's what worrys me this time around I could t afford it tbh.
I dont know if they will do mediation the blokes vile and it's been going on for about 8 years Now with my son and his never changed.
He expects us to jump and I'm not anymore and I'm petrified my son will get his hopes up as hes a lovely boy.. Yes I'm going to ring Monday and I think it bs as when we left I have his solicitors my phone number and email...havent heard anything but he's saying hes spend hundreds trying to find us x
I was your son in this situation. The best thing my mother ever did was keep me away from him when I was younger and then give me the option to get to know him when I was 14ish. I saw what he was like for myself. A massive disappointment. I've never thought of my mother as a bad person for keeping him away and I actually thank her for it now I'm older. X
I just know he will never change and I don't want my son to be dissapointed as I know the bloke will be what my son needs (not even a tiny bit close to what he deserves) thats what I'm thinking give it a couple more years and ask him again if he wants to see him at the moment he's even told school he doesn't want to ever even hear his name again. I just never wanting him to hate me for it so hearing that helps he should thank me hopefully xx
@chrissyrose the one thing my mother ever did was bad mouth my father. She never ever said a bad word about him and I've recently found out from my nan that he put her through hell. When my father finally became part of my life he did nothing but bad mouth my mother. But still, she never said a bad word about him. Just keep being the bigger person, your son will see his true colours eventually however the next few years go! X
I just know how many woman stop men seeing there kids because they cheat or don't want to be with them and I have never stopped even got his family to pick my son and take him so I wasn't involved they all got fed up after a couple of months as I was making all arrangements and he didn't give a shit.. Yes I think it's best to wait a few more years my son can properly decide then.
Yes he's on the birth certificate.. Unfortunately but I know deep down its best for my son to always know who his real dad is and this way is never kept anything from him and never bad mouthed his dad he just sees it all for himself xx
What a piece of shit he is. He's damaged your son already and you've had to pick up the pieces on your own , I don't blame you for not wanting him back in your son's life, I t won't be long until he starts his violent and controlling behaviour again, already threatening you. Let the judge decide this one! Is he on the birth certificate? Xx
Do not feel bad for protecting your boy! When he's older he may or may not want to know him but right now keeping him as far away as you possibly can sounds the best thing to do. Xx
He was pretty horrible to my son to.. He took it to court before because I was young and on my own his dad tried to take him and the judge said he shouldn't see his son woth how he was at the time so I asked to do a parenting assessment to prove I was a good parent to my son
.. I Passed it all and still let the idiot see his son after with a social worker he went crazy at Her because she would only do Saturday he choose to go work instead so she stopped it and closed the case he never bothered untill now 😔 xx
Thank you both.. So he's violent and very controlling. I gave him so many chances to sort himself out and do contact away from me as he always got angry if I stepped in to help my son with a puzzle or something but he never would help...He shouted and swore alot at my son. He also sent family members to my house with hammers when my son was 4 to basically do me in so we left.. Iv never changed my number if offered contact in a center and payed over 100 for him not to turn up. He really is a joke xx
Oh my god yeah you're absolutely right to stop contact then. Violence is a massive no and especially not for your son to grow up thinking that's normal. Let him take you to court he wont have a leg to stand on if you have evidence of all that xx
It's a difficult one for me, what was your reasons for stopping contact in the first place or was it him?
I've seen it from both sides of the coin that my partner tried for years to see his son only to be told that he had to get rid of me (even though I'd never even spoke to her) and all sorts. He used to get told he had to pay £200 to see his son for an hour despite paying £150 maintenance a week. It absolutely destroyed him and he cried a lot over it.
(Obviously I know this is not the case with most men and most men are useless fathers.) Just that I've seen it from both sides 😊 xx
Iv had friends do this and it's horrible.. Does he Now get to see him!!?? .. I'm not a jealous type I use to let his dad and gf pick my son up and go for lunch Ect even lent them money to go places they then wouldn't go...my son told a social worker oh my daddy Buys blue cans and I have to sit and play quietly... My son broke down yesterday saying please don't make me go mummy I promise Il be so good and stop answering back I said mate I won't send you anywhere you don't want to go buy has broke my heart xx
@chrissyrose no still hasn't seen him for 4 years. We actually live down the road from her and he constantly sees his son and cant say anything to him as he doesnt know who he is anymore. She has moved her new boyfriend in which the boy now calls him dad. It's just awful, I can see it break his heart everytime. Hes tried to approach her but she just calls the police and says hes harassing her.
I think your son definitely should be the decider here as hes 8 and knows what he wants now. Hes also so aware of everything going on around it so it would be massively damaging to have a man like that in his life. I think you've done the right thing removing him from his life as he sounds awful xx
You're not in the wrong, don't give in because of court, if he's that bothered then he will take it through the court without telling you. You're not the worse person ever, you have your child's best interests at heart.
If he messages you just don't entertain it, 4years? He ain't worth the stress 💖xx
Iv just ignored him since he mentioned going to court as he hadn't actually asked about his son just keeps ringing me between 1-3 in the morning saying he needs a friend how's that to do with his son.. I dont answer even if I'm awake 😂 xx