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squishymommy1
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4 times more likely to attempt suicide. 8 times more likely to experience sexual assault. Twice as likely to struggle with addiction.

If adoption is so wonderful why are adoptees struggling at such disproportionate rates.?
11.6 месяцев

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mommiesgoneabitmad

Thank you for always showing all sides of the Spectrum even if it’s uncomfortable and thank you for being vulnerable

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mommiesgoneabitmad

Thank you for always showing all sides of the Spectrum even if it’s uncomfortable and thank you for being vulnerable

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mommaofjandm

I think adoption can be good. I’m so very thankful my mother was adopted!
She was born in the 60’s as a product of a love affair so they decided adoption was the best option for my mom to have the best life. (My grandparents actually ended up marrying 7 years later and having another daughter.)

My mother was adopted (along with her brother who was adopted as well) by a loving couple who couldn’t have children.

My mother actually met her biological mother (father had already passed) when I was 2 years old. I grew up knowing her as my grandmother.

So because of adoption, my mother got double the parents. Double the love. And she had 4 children of her own who had double the grandparents and double the love.

I’m so thankful that my mom was adopted bc without her, I wouldn’t be here and my beautiful babies wouldn’t be here.

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mommaofjandm

@squishymommy1, yes, as far as I know, it was their choice. My grandfather was married and had 3 children already. It was a very sticky situation.

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squishymommy1

@mommaofjandm, until the late 70’s it was really common for expectant mothers to be sent away to maternity homes. Where even if they wanted to keep their babies. They were not allowed to.

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mommaofjandm

@squishymommy1, right! Yeah, I know about that. And that’s really sad. I do know that’s not the case for my mother’s story.

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rayofmysunshine

@squishymommy1, That is terrible. I don’t know your story with adoption and I pray your son finds a way to move forward and live a happy life. I know many adoptees. My father his birth siblings and his adopted brothers included. My neighbor growing up and best friend. Also my mother placed her last born for adoption.

I can say the majority I know has lead successful and happy lives. There have been negative impacts from the ones that didn’t have an open adoption. The ones that didn’t have a connection with their roots. It is sad to know that some birth parents want nothing to do with the children and opt to have a closed adoption my best friends case was closed and all medical records weren’t accessible, she struggles with her identity. She can only guess what her ethnicity is.

In my case, open adoption was my only option. I have to know how he is doing I want updates and photos. He is only 10 and this summer the big question was asked ‘why did you give me up?’ I wasn’t ready. But I answered his question the best way I could. I wrote him a letter to have and to read when the question comes back to his mind. I want nothing but the best for him. He is now blessed with two Loving mother’s and one hell of a stable life. One that I would haven’t been able to provide. Plus his biological father is a POS and nearly killed me at 5 months pregnant and had his family stalk me afterwards.

I feel every case is different. Each unique to the circumstances. This post almost made me feel guilty. I had to check myself.

I can say I am glad I didn’t do an abortion. He is me, with a better chance at life. With parents who embrace me as his birth mother and want to follow his lead on how to move forward with handling his life questions with me involved in those moments. I’ve been told that this type of relationship is a rarity in the adoption world. I feel blessed to have it. I feel our families have only grown larger since.

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squishymommy1

@rayofmysunshine, not me personally. I’m not a professional. He needs therapy. All adoptees and birth moms need therapy lol

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rayofmysunshine

@squishymommy1, agree on that. It’s super emotionally damaging. But good can come of it!

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squishymommy1

@rayofmysunshine, I really think “good” is relative. Because I honestly don’t think adoption is “good” in our unethical system. Your son could legally marry your daughter (not that they would. This is just an example) because they are legal strangers. Even though incest is illegal.

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rayofmysunshine

As a birth mother this breaks my heart.

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squishymommy1

It should. Honestly. I’m one too. But my son is also an adult now. He has tried to kill himself multiple times and is very angry about having been adopted. And I just have to sit back and listen.

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rayofmysunshine

@squishymommy1, I am sorry that he is struggling with it.

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squishymommy1

@rayofmysunshine, a lot of adoptees struggle unfortunately. And often silently.

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