Emotional wreck this eve. Have been having awful dreams since reading the actress Rivera and her son…

Emotional wreck this eve. Have been having awful dreams since reading the actress Rivera and her son in the boat story. My sister gave birth today and hemorrhaged and have been so anxious all day. My LO has fully entered the terrible twos and had to watch my OH wrestle him into his PJs and felt so bad for my LO screaming his head off. Then my OH jokingly asked if I want another (he absolutely doesn't) and that's just opened up a whole can of worms. I dont my Lo to grow up lonely, I dont want to look back and regret not having another, but also I find it so hard with him event though he is so good, I went back to work at 6 months and lost my job because I was just so tired and irritable all the time, and me and OH fell out and still do constantly, I feel broody but I know it wohld be selfish and it wohld probably negatively affect everything and everyone involved and then that makes me feel bad asking myself how can others find it so easy with 4 kids and I cant cope with 1 good one