Mom.life
Allison
momma_to_gigi_and_kj
Allison·Мама троих детей
So I’m dealing with extreme gender disappointment and people keep responding to it with “at least it’s healthy. That’s all that matters. You’ll be okay” or “oh you’ll change your mind, boys are great! I love mine!” like yes it’s great that the baby is healthy and it’s great that you like being a boy mom but that was never the life I saw for myself. As soon as the nurse told me it was a boy I felt immediately disconnected from the pregnancy and cried for hours. And then I felt guilty for crying and being so upset that I cried even more and felt even more disconnected. There is nothing I look forward to in having a son. Like nothing at all. I don’t like any boy names, I hate looking at boy clothes, there are no activities I look forward to. I really hope I’ll bond with him before he’s born because I don’t want to go through ppd like I did with my daughter. I just don’t know how to make it better and friends and family aren’t helping at all by saying all this stuff. Like I can’t grieve over the fact my whole life has to change now because all I know are my daughter and step daughter. I love being a girl mom to the max! I love every part of having girls. I never wanted to have a boy and it was naïve of me to never consider that I could have a boy if I got pregnant again but I didn’t even think it was possible for me because being a girl mom just feels so right. And if your a boy mom this is no disrespect to you whatsoever. And I’m not saying I want to get rid of my baby. I just don’t know how to cope with the gender disappointment before he’s born. I don’t want him to be born and I still feel disconnected. I’m so confused and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about how I actually feel without being criticized or told to be grateful.
09.07.2020
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ksmommyx3
Ms Jackson If Ya Nasty ·Мама троих детей
Don’t feel bad, gender disappointment is real!! Talk to your doctor, talk to a therapist. I’m going from being a girl mom to having a son this pregnancy. I did want a son though but as much as I do a little part of me is still scared like wtf do I do with a boy since I’m so use to girls lol. It’s fun being a girl mom but I think having a boy around will be fun as well for us. Maybe we’ll get our mommas boys ☺️ and I soooo agree with the names...it’s hard to find a cute name 😫 girl names were so much easier for me. It’s okay mama I’m sure once you are further into the pregnancy...seeing the ultrasounds... decide on a name and see his little face at birth..you I’ll instantly fall in love. Big sissys will have a lil bro to look after when he’s small and when they are all older they’ll and you will forever have a man to protect you guys 😘
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
del_1614990410_buildyourtable
I was the odds.If they were going to tell me That I was pregnant with a girl (I have two girl and one boy) I would have cried too. And I would have really wanted to give her up. My oldest daughter is so hard to deal with. But my youngest daughter is my lifeline. I LOVE MY SON to my core. I rather have 3 boys one girl. Just because boys are so much easier to deal with. My daughter is a girly girl (oldest daughter).
My youngest she is really lay back little girl.
Now honestly I was very upset when I read it the first time but as I continue to read it I'm like oh okay yeah I get it I get it. And I can see what you mean when you feel there's nothing to do with boys but that's not true there's a lot of things you can do in boys. Me and my son go for walks,we have date times. Talk a lot.. he's the best part of me. And boy will love you and a different way from girls.

My girls are dad girls.
My son is a mom boy. I would chance it.

I hope you can feel better love..
I cried too when I found out about my second daughter. I thought about giving her up for adoption her Daddy won't let me.

I glad I didn't I would have missed out on a beautiful,smart full of life little girl. That make me feel bad saying that.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
themothafuckinladymarlow
Linden·Мама сына (9 лет)
I think you need to speak with someone about how you're feeling Mama.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
mumma_0fo2
Lucky Mommy ·Мама двоих (5 лет, 8 лет)
I understand hun i was pregnant with my second son i thought he was gonna be a baby girl i kinda was excited bc every thing i was eating was sweets but here is a boy i was like bugging i was heart broken but when i had him it changed my life it really did and my oldest son absolutely loved him kissed him hugged him and now im trying for a baby girl now my son wants a sister so im crossing fingers for a babygirl
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
cantdeletebutimgone
·Мама дочки (11 лет)
My sisters ex-husband went through this. My sister already had a son when she met him he told himself that he was going to have all boys. My sister got pregnant with their first together and it was a boy then number 3 was another boy by the time she got pregnant with her 4th he was dying for a girl but they ended up having another boy!! My sister always wanted a daughter but never got to have that. Now that I have a daughter she's kind of living that through me. I know that a lot of people go through this and I pass no judgment. Like the other ladies said eventually the feelings will go away and you will realize that you love him just as much as your daughters. We are all here for you if you need anything.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
blueismycolor
Blue IsMyColor·Мама троих детей
I feel like I could have written this post myself. When I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time, it was a complete shock and I cried for a week, I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry. I finally started coming to terms with it even though I still wasn’t happy about it. I tried to cheer myself up by imagining the little dresses that I would sew and how cute and sweet another little girl would be. Well. I took the blood test that tells gender and a week later the nurse called and said it was a boy. I barely held it together on the phone and then I broke down and sobbed. I never wanted a boy. I spend the entire pregnancy feeling no real connection to him, I had bleeding that put me in and out of the hospital, I didn’t even choose his name. I just let my husband figure it out. I hated myself for not really wanting this baby.
Then he was born and I pushed myself to bond with him and give him the love he deserved. Fast forward to now, this little guy is 4 and the absolute LOVE OF MY LIFE. I cannot get enough of him. Little boys may be wild and crazy, but they love BIG and they love their mamas most of all. He’ll melt your heart every day. Hang in there mama. Let yourself feel all the feels and be gentle on yourself. It’s all going to be ok.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
momma_to_gigi_and_kj
Allison·Мама троих детей
How long did it take to bond with him and did it cause you to go through ppd?
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
blueismycolor
Blue IsMyColor·Мама троих детей
@giannas.mommy, I did have PPD and also developed post partum anxiety. I was too ashamed to seek help and I struggled for about a year and my anxiety is still bad, even though it’s not as bad as before.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
momma_to_gigi_and_kj
Allison·Мама троих детей
@blueismycolor, I was the same way with my daughter. I didn’t get help until she was almost 1. It’s so hard to find someone who felt the gender disappointment as extreme as I do to hear their story. My first thought when she said boy was giving my baby away because I didn’t want a boy that bad. I told my boyfriend before I found out it was a boy that if it was he was in charge of everything. Picking out clothes and naming him and decorating. Now I have to hide this disappointment from him because he’s going to be so excited about having a boy.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
proudmommyofthree_
- Caleen 🇯🇲·Мама троих детей
I felt this 100% I wanted to be a boy mom but I ended up with girls. I went through the gender dissapointment but once I laid eyes on them for the very first time it was love at first sight I do strongly believe your gonna come around just wait till you hear that first cry all that dissapointment is going to go out the window 💙
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
monstermommax3
Jasmine·Мама четверых детей
This is really well written. I would seek some therapy so you can without guilt or judgment express yourself. I had some gender disappointment with my son. After having big plans and ideas for two daughters, after buying everything a baby girl would need, then having that pulled away was hard. So I totally get it.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
mamaxofxtwo
Honestly I kinda feel this because wen I found out it was a boy I was sad and told the doctor to triple check every single time I had an ultrasound hoping it wud end up being wrong bkz I was used to only being a girl mom .. I was 100% sure it was another girl but nope I was wrong .. Once I started feeling him move and kick a lot and saw the ultrasound in 3D of his facial features I instantly was in love with him And once he was born I loved him even more and couldn’t imagine not having him ❤️ I hope things get better for u and u form a bond soon !
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
thatregalmujer
Livinintheeastdreaminboutthewest·Мама сына (7 лет)
The best place to talk without feeling like you're getting criticized, is with a therapist. I don't know if your pregnancy was planned, but you are right, it was quite naïve to have never considered having a boy, not judging, it just took me aback while reading.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do, and I really do hope you'll change your view, even if it's after your baby is born, and you'll be able to give your son all the love he's owed 🥰

Off tangent, how does his father feel about a son?
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
momma_to_gigi_and_kj
Allison·Мама троих детей
He wanted a boy even before I ever got pregnant. He’ll be overjoyed when he finds out it’s a boy.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
thatregalmujer
Livinintheeastdreaminboutthewest·Мама сына (7 лет)
@giannas.mommy I'm sorry 😔 I hope he can understand how you feel, and will be able to support you
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
theycallmemommy
Steph·Мама четверых детей
I can understand gender disappointment to an extent. I have always dreamed of hanging a little girl and I got all boys. While I do wish I could have had a girl I love my boys more than anything! It might be a good idea to talk to a professional though. They can help you sort out your feelings of disappointment. I hope things get better got you hun! 💕
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
brownsugarluv
A J·Многодетная мама (5 детей)
You should seek professional help to talk about your issues. The sooner the better. That must be such a heavy burden to carry around. Pregnancy does crazy stuff to us. I wish you the best.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
briannalynn547
Brianna Montgomery ·Мама двоих (5 лет, 7 лет)
I second this . If you already sense not being able to bond w him that could make things worse when he arrives and he’ll need his momma . Best of luck to you!
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
m0mmy
M0MM·Мама двоих (6 лет, 20 лет)
That was a very good read. Great way for expressing yourself and touching on every way it’s affecting you. 🙏🏽 Here’s to meditation and acceptance. I’m not saying right now or even 6 months...but he’s your blood and guts 🙃 It will all be okay in the end mama. Grieve. Feel it. Figure it out. Express yourself. Don’t stay hidden. & keep on keeping on.
Your daughters may be ecstatic to have a little munchkin to pick on 😉
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
momma_to_gigi_and_kj
Allison·Мама троих детей
My biological daughter is over the moon about a new baby but she’s going to be upset when we tell her it’s not a baby sister like she wanted. My step daughter isn’t too thrilled for the new baby because she doesn’t want to share her dad but she also said she wants it to be a baby sister.
09.07.2020 Нравится Ответить
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