I'm gonna be very open here cause I just need to let it out after crying last night the sinking…

I'm gonna be very open here cause I just need to let it out after crying last night the sinking feeling didn't fade...i woke up and it was still there. It's hard to say but I even thought about self harm. As my hubby was in the backyard happily playing with our kids I was making lunch and I looked at our large knifes and the thought crossed my mind. I cried and argued with myself silently and breathed through it. I didn't tell my hubby or anyone that I felt this low so I guess I just need to say it. I'm sorry for venting here and maybe I shouldn't be but it feels like a weight has been lifted I typically just keep this in and deal but it literally felt like I was drowning inside myself 😯💔💖#inmyfeelings #itsoknottobeok