Question: What would you moms do if you told your almost 12 year old he can sleep at his friends…

Question:

What would you moms do if you told your almost 12 year old he can sleep at his friends house which is 3 streets over (he can cut through th eggs neighborhood sidewalk to get to in the middle of the neighborhood) he hasnt eaten yet but talked on the phone and he was supposed to come home in the next few minutes to eat and go back over (I was going to drive him) I don't feel comfortable about him walking home at night in the dark so he comes home at the latest is 8:30. It gets dark at almost 9. We miscommunicated because I thought he was going to come home. And hd thought I was going to pick him up. He didnt show so I figured he was going to eat there and not come. I called too and no answer. Come 12am he gets home flips out because I never picked him up and he is "starving" I left out a plate still for him from dinner. I was so much on that he said I said I was going to xss pick him up and all this. Wouldn't let it go when I kept telling him it was just a miscommunication it's ok but next time we will have to understand and communicate better but he was sti not letting go. Then he was being loud woke the baby twice an end stomping. Went into the bathroom and crushed an empty water jug. I could tell he was very overwhelmed and on the verge of crying and my ex doesnt make it any better. Kept telling him to stay out of it and he kept trying to tell him to stay out of it. Hes just adding to the issue (no judgement of comments about why hes here. That is not the problem at the moment) well I told him to take a shower and try to calm down and I'll give him dinner and then he can go to bed. After his shower he seemed calmer and happier. He ate with no issues. I told him that we will talk about this tomorrow (didnt want.to start a huge conversation and him get worked up about it this late at night and I dont like my kids going to bed very upset when it can be avoided) question is how would you handle this and the talk about his behavior. I have trouble trying to explain to him how the behavior isnt ok and I cant approach him right off the bat like I'm upset because he will flip out but I need for him to know that tonight wasnt ok and how he needs to keep an eye on the time and saying he disnt know the time isn't always an excuse. He does have adhd and anxiety. I'm not saying that for an "excuse" just what is.