Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

My sweet baby girl gained her angel wings this morning. She was my best friend, my true love my everything. She was so happy and beautiful, I'm struggling to say good bye. Sleep tight princess, mummy and daddy love you very very much ❤️

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I WANT MY BABY ! 😡 takes 40 weeks??? Seriously though!!! 😩😫 new date given so now I'm 36w2d

I'm literally crying of the horrible symptoms. Ladies I feel like I can't do it anymore. 😢😢😢😢 it feels so horrible.