I really don't know what to do anymore! My almost 9 month old will not sleep. He's struggled with…

I really don't know what to do anymore! My almost 9 month old will not sleep. He's struggled with sleep since day 1 and it's so frustrating. We've tried bath, lavender lotion, bottle right before bed, cereal for dinner, quiet play time before bed, baby massage, we have our routine set, soft music, white noise, comforting him without picking him up. I've even tried rocking him. I have to rock him for at least a half and hour to even have a shot of him going down. If not he wakes right back up the second he touches the matress. The only way he takes naps is if he's being held. He's always been like this and we've been trying and trying this whole time to help him sleep without being held or rocked. He just won't do it. He also wakes up in the middle of the night and refuses to go back down. At that point. So exhausted that he ends up in our bed. I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a terrible mother. My daughter was such a great sleeper, so this is all new to me. 😭