This is the only safe place I have to say this
I thought being with an older man was safer than being with one my own age
I'm wrong
It was everything at first I wasn't worried about getting hurt because I knew what I was getting into
I just don't know if after these 3 almost 4 years together is worth it anymore
He doesn't really spend time with me and the girls he's always on his dang computer game before and after work even on his days off it's the same thing computer game waits til dinner then tv then sleep.
I just don't know what to do anymore am I wrong for wanting to call it done
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I have been thinking about everything and I don't get much help if any right now.
My family is behind me 100% of the way and said they will help me.
He gets angry whenever I try to even mention separation.
The reason I stay is because of my kids I don't want them to be put through the difficult decision of divorce.
It's getting hard on me because I'm not happy and I want to be, I love him so much.
He won't do couple counseling
When I was put on antidepressants for post partum depression he told me I was weak and it was all in my head
When I went through our miscarriage he told me it wasn't even a baby, I was 8weeks and he didn't even care about my feelings
@truly_blessed_mama, I suspected there was a lot more to the story. Yeah girl, he sounds a lot like my husband. Gaslighting you, minimizing your problems and feelings, and trying to scare you out of even considering the word divorce with anger, my husband had been doing the same thing. If I even said the word divorce he would say “if you keep bringing up divorce you might as well just do it because I’m tired of worrying about that.” But then something happened that made me actually say wow I might need to leave and take my children right now if things don’t change because this isn’t safe. And when I had a talk with him where I looked in his eyes and I was dead serious I was going to leave him it’s like he suddenly realized I wasn’t bluffing or trying to control him with an ultimatum but rather that I simply couldn’t stay married if something didn’t change. He didn’t get angry and since then, he’s actually out a good effort into changing. Now it’s only been 2.5 weeks so believe me, I am still researching divorce and keeping my distance to protect my heart, but I do see some hope. I also became empowered to stop taking his shit and stand up to him when I realized I could really go through with divorce and it didn’t scare me anymore. We will see what happens but I am not backing down and you shouldn’t either. You’re a girl mom like me and raising girls is part of what gave me the courage to stand up to him because I want them to learn you don’t have to take shit and psychological abuse from anyone. Good luck. Message me if you want to talk more
@tacos4lyfe thank you mama you know what I am going to stand up cause it needs to end
Always follow your heart. One thing I will say is no relationship is perfect. And like the previous comment says communication is key! Having kids also brings other issues to the plate though. Good luck.
First, there are a lot worse problems in relationships than a man playing video games all day, but that being said, it is neglectful and I can understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling, and I’m sure there is more to the story you haven’t shared. Have you expressed to him how you feel about it? That you aren’t sure you want to continue the relationship because of this? And how has he responded? Second, have you thought about how ending the relationship will affect your children and you? Like, the fact you will actually have less help and support if you end it. The reason I am saying this is because I too have been thinking about divorce and am having to consider all factors. I hope everything works out for you ❤️