ajowens1547
Andrea
I need advice.
Backstory: I've been married for 5 years back in May and it's been pretty rocky. I've split with him twice because he is controlling. I cant wear certain things, talk to certain family members, I'm only "allowed" to buy things that he approves of which is seriously like NOTHING FOR MYSELF, but he BLOWS money by withdrawing it and not allowing me to know on what. I cant wear my makeup any more than a natural look or I'm a hoe and a whore and a dumbass along other names when hes upset.
Currently: my mom bad brain surgery so I'm here in CO SPRINGS (my apartment is in NM.) In NM I have zero family, no friends, his sister who is the only "family" i have out there has not seen my girls in 7 months and hasn't even ASKED about them. He flipped tf out because I was wearing sweatpants and a tshirt. I am at a breaking point and I'm ready to divorce his ass. But I would want to live out here in CO. He gave me permission when he was "upset" cause I told him I wanted to split. But in text I have the permission to live here and he was being rude. Now hes threatening me with a lawyer. What guidelines do I have to follow? Similar experiences? Please help. MIND YOU HE DOES NOT HELP WITH THE GIRLS, IS ALWAYS OUT WOTH HIS FRIENDS, AND ON HIS VIDEO GAMES. IVE BEEN A SINGLE MOM WITH BASICALLY SINCE MY 4YR OLD WAS BORN. The only advantage he has on me is that he was working and I'm a SAHM and due to my financial situation with him I have ZERO money because he wont allow me to have even $5 to my name.
Backstory: I've been married for 5 years back in May and it's been pretty rocky. I've split with him twice because he is controlling. I cant wear certain things, talk to certain family members, I'm only "allowed" to buy things that he approves of which is seriously like NOTHING FOR MYSELF, but he BLOWS money by withdrawing it and not allowing me to know on what. I cant wear my makeup any more than a natural look or I'm a hoe and a whore and a dumbass along other names when hes upset.
Currently: my mom bad brain surgery so I'm here in CO SPRINGS (my apartment is in NM.) In NM I have zero family, no friends, his sister who is the only "family" i have out there has not seen my girls in 7 months and hasn't even ASKED about them. He flipped tf out because I was wearing sweatpants and a tshirt. I am at a breaking point and I'm ready to divorce his ass. But I would want to live out here in CO. He gave me permission when he was "upset" cause I told him I wanted to split. But in text I have the permission to live here and he was being rude. Now hes threatening me with a lawyer. What guidelines do I have to follow? Similar experiences? Please help. MIND YOU HE DOES NOT HELP WITH THE GIRLS, IS ALWAYS OUT WOTH HIS FRIENDS, AND ON HIS VIDEO GAMES. IVE BEEN A SINGLE MOM WITH BASICALLY SINCE MY 4YR OLD WAS BORN. The only advantage he has on me is that he was working and I'm a SAHM and due to my financial situation with him I have ZERO money because he wont allow me to have even $5 to my name.
06.08.2019
2
Детский раздел в сервисе Строки: подборки книг д...
Свечи против вирусов: отличия от сиропов и таблеток
Какие витамины и минералы важны для развития плода?
Лучший комментарий
Комментарии
ajowens1547
I ended up taking the leap and decided to stay. I was so lucky and got a job, which I started already today. He hasnt fought for us to go back or anything so idk if that's good or bad. He was supposed to come out and see the girls this weekend but now "doesn't know" so fuck him. Its better this way. Thank you all! I have to file the divorce still but I've been foraging on it and its looking up so far.
08.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
momplus2
so you need to file for divorce no if ands or buts that is not a marriage you should be in and that's definitely not a relationship your children should see this man abuses you there's more forms of abuse than others you need to get a divorce before something worse happens this man calling you all these names not letting you do things is not what a relationship is that man needs to grow up or stay single I'm so sorry you're dealing with this you and your girls this is so ridiculous you can live wherever you and your girl's desire he does not control your life just because you'll have a ring on your finger doesn't mean he's King Midas to you. Stand up for yourself girl and if he puts a hand on you call the cops the girls need to stop saying you being put through this or they're going to think it's okay when they get old enough to do relationships that a man can treat her like this and it be okay I pray for you hard I know how you feel I was abused all My Life by men I just recently got into a relationship were abusing was in a thing if you ever need someone to talk to get to about anything please do not hesitate to message me I know your pain abusing mentally or physically is no joke
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
dubyahsmomma
I would seek a consultation from a family lawyer. In a lot of states where you've resided with the child for at least 6 months in the jurisdiction in which court/custody takes place and until custody is in order whoever has possession of said child is deemed to be the custodial parent. You can easily call someone in NM and get a free consultation. Tell them everything from why you left to why you want to stay there.
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
protectoroftheclan
Stay in Colorado and file u had no residency either that don't matter and the court will appoint u a lawyer to help and fight for only your rights
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
ajowens1547
Thank you for your advice, I appreciate this more than you know.
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
protectoroftheclan
Sounds like he is all in,,, take action and take the first step stay gone don't let him have the kids, if he sees them then u stay with him while he sees them
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
ajowens1547
But that was like a week ago and now hes threatening me with all of this BS. I'm not scared to leave I known happier without him. This man has broken me down to feeling like I was nothing. I'm not the same person i was before him as in my outgoing personality, my self esteem, my fitness, nothing. He took all of that from me. But I'm just so scared of getting into trouble
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
ajowens1547
I get worried because if I have to go to NM to file or get a public defender or something cheap out there I'm obviously going to lose because I have ZERO support there. And I'm not sure if I can go to the court house here in CO because I'm not from here and dont have any residency established here. I have screenshots and my mom has them backed up in her phone. I'm gonna try to post a picture in these comments to show yall and get an opinion of how youd interpret it
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
protectoroftheclan
Dont worry u can and u will be fine word of mouth your mom says u live there then u live there
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
ajowens1547
@virgosweetness yeah I would stay here with her and she could watch the girls while I work graveyard or something to save money until I can get my own place.
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
protectoroftheclan
@virgosweetness u left because u feared for your life and because your only support system was in Colorado and that's all they need to know u got this girl. My kids were 10 mths and 4 when I finally got the balls to leave and it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I got custody he had them every other weekend. The court has a lawyer for you and their job is to fight their ass off for u and the kids, tell them everything and save any messages from him that could be used again him too so they will see u r not lieing about how he is
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
protectoroftheclan
Do it u can do whatever u want as long as them babies r in your possession. U r not kidnapping. No one has custody right now because u r not divorced. U can and need to go to the court ASAP with the kids in your possession and file and file custody as well so u can go to court for custody. Stay gone do not go back and do not let him have any kind of possession of the kids until u go to court. I've been through this exact situation. Whoever the kids r in custody are with until the court date they r allowed to stay with as long as u don't let him have them then they r yours. I was a stay at home mom when me and my older kids father divorced and I went and moved in with my mom with no job and I got custody because obviously I was home with them all the time which showed I was the primary care giver for them. And he will have to come to court to you in Colorado if u file there. Don't leave don't let him have the kids but do take action immediately. And u will be just fine. Yes it's gonna be hard but if I can be a single mom for ten years starting from nothing no penny to my name u can do it too and it taught me that I can do anything and don't need nobody so I learned I can be treated right or I don't need no man taught me so much about myself and made me such a stronger woman going through it all. My ex was the same way, don't let him scare u no more u r too good for that and your kids don't need to be raised to think it's ok to treat women that way. 🙂🙂👍👍👍👍👍
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
madilyngrace
I bet it's hard but you gotta leave... Before your girls are old enough to see how he treats you... You don't want them thinking thats tbe way they deserve to be treated... My sister going through a similar situation ... It doesn't matter that your a sahm he wanted that... He will have to make sure you and the girls have a place plus child support and alimony
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
ajowens1547
I'm totally 150% ok with leaving trust me. It's just that I'm out of state and I would stay here and not go back to NM where he is at. I don't want that to be detrimental to custody agreements for me.
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
mybabybear
I’d try to leave. Sounds abusive. Is it possible for you to get help?
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
ajowens1547
My only help is out of state. I don't want him to try to take my kids away from me. I'm not keeping them from anyone but hes mad cause he doesn't wanna drive anywhere. My mom and my step dad are my only help.
06.08.2019 Нравится Ответить
Читайте также