So I am curious. Have you seen situations where someone may be a loving parent but also due to the…
So I am curious. Have you seen situations where someone may be a loving parent but also due to the amount of kids they have you feel as if they are also neglecting some of their needs? I am not really super judgey with other parents but the last time I visited a friend I have known since I was a kid.. I felt as if she just had a few less kids to take care of that some of the things in the situation that I saw wouldn’t have been an issue. (Her house was just insanely dirty also with toys and things all over everywhere, 6 kids in one bedroom, dirty pull ups on the floor... tons of pets outside. Just generally not a clean spot in the house that I could see)
I am a strong believer in that you shouldn’t have more kids than you can financially, physically and emotionally care for. This obviously varies from person to person what that limit is. I think I personally wouldn’t be able to do more than 3 or 4 max. But one of my other friends I am sure could do 6+ and have no issues (she has 5 and is an amazing mother to all of her kiddos). The one I feel her house was neglectful when I visited last year now has 8 kids (one up from when I visited) and there is no plans on her stopping. But just the whole state of her house and living arrangements for the kids made me feel kinda bad for the kiddos.
I was raised by a neglectful mom and it was just my brother and I. So someone doesn’t have to have a lot of kids to be neglectful of course. But I dunno.. just randomly have been thinking about her today I guess because she sent an invite for her son’s dedication this next weekend.
Anywho, I may get flack for this but it made me curious if others see situations where the mom is a good person but just.. the situation did not seem good I guess.
Shay·
To be honest, I don't think that's a very legal living situation. Even in apartments there's only supposed to be 2 beats per room, with the exception of a baby (until 2) sleeping in the parents room.
A··
@gecko_mom throw some birth control at her...
🦎 Gecko Mom··
@mississippi.queen, 🤣 She is one of the ‘the lord will give me all the children he wants’ camp so I don’t think tossing it at her would help. 😂
A··
well, then she needs something else to do lmao!! The lord is giving me 3 children, and then, even if I have to tie my tubes by myself, that's it, and that's all!!!
Sabi ·
Well have you ever talked to her about this?? Or try to help her clean up at all? I know it’s not your responsibility or anything but if you’re close friends it might make her feel better and get her to keep shit straight. Does she have any mental problems? Depression or anything? I feel you should deff have a deep convo with her. And yeah 6 kids in one room isn’t good, maybe she could make the living room into a room with bunk beds some where in a corner. And even add a bed in her bedroom for one or 2 children.
Sabi ··
Does she have a bf or husband and does she get any help from the state?? It’s wrong how she lives but I honestly think she needs help.
Sabi ··
And maybe she should get rid of the animals because they really don’t help if it’s hard to keep up with kids.
🦎 Gecko Mom··
Nope. We aren’t close and our beliefs in general are very different. This was the first time I had been to her house since she had kids and she doesn’t have any mental issues. Don’t know about depression. But I live 3k miles away so me offering to help is kinda impossible. I just visited last year to meet up after like 12 years of not seeing her. But also being the fact she is an antivaxxer I kinda told myself I wouldn’t be bringing my kids to hang out with her even when we are in the area.
And she has a husband who I think is a police officer? 🤣 No idea if they get help from the state though.. and her family has always had a ton of animals. When I was a kid and we would visit they always had a ton of cats and dogs and stuff. I doubt me saying anything would help or change the situation.
Kimberly ·
I’m conflicted on this... because if you were to come over to my apartment you’d probably be disgusted. I don’t clean every day. I have dirty dishes on the table from breakfast. There’s crumbs on my floor. There’s probably pee on the side of the toilet. It probably smells like last night’s dinner here, but my boys are well loved. They know they can tell me anything. They know I’ll stop what I’m doing to listen to them. They know I’ll feed them half an hour after they already ate. They’re not good at cleaning and neither am I. My husband and I wait until it gets bad before we deep clean, but we love our boys. Can’t say I’m neglectful to them or their needs just because I’m a slob.
I will say the sleeping situation must be tough for the kids. That’s not very fair. =\
Kimberly ··
@sabi.bishh, the dirty diaper thing would bother me. I had a pull up on my floor for a couple days but I knew it was dry and I was too gross and lazy to do anything about it. At least it didn’t smell.
The living arrangements though.. that’s not very good. I’m assuming with that many kids, a few of them are older. My 8 year old and almost 4 year old share a room, but I feel like that’s totally acceptable since it’s just the two of them and they’re both boys.
Sabi ··
@kimberly_the-preemie-mom, that’s how I feel. That’s why I think she should just make her living room into a room, shit the mom could even sleep in the living room and split 2 rooms between the kids and still have 1 or 2 with her. Like her youngest kids. But I think she must be having some sort of issues that she should seek help for from a doctor. I don’t think @gecko_mom, said every thing about her friends house and maybe it is really gross. I would offer to help the chick tho, I always feel bad for kids and try to help out.
🦎 Gecko Mom··
I am the first to step up and say my apartment is not the cleanest as it could be. But it is mostly clutter and not like.. dirt and grime from ages ago. I have cloth diapers that hang out for an hour or two before I deal with them but her kids who the pull ups belonged to were 5-8 years old. And the fact that multiple older children were in pull ups soon seemed kinda bad too.
As for the room situation when I was there she had all the kids besides the 2 year old in the same room. Ranged in ages from I think 4-12, 3 boys and 3 girls I think it was with the 1.5 year old sleeping in their room. I am not sure where the now 2.5 year old is now since they have like a 2 month old.
But yeah as I said I am not normally local, I just visited randomly to catch up and was kinda blown away by the situation quite frankly. I wish I had the time or was close to offer any help but sadly not possible.