
Almost a year ago next month i gave birth too my bestfriend , my life , my heartbeat I don’t necessarily have to post anything now but because i can i will ! I am glad you came into my life unexpectedly son , where would i be without you ... you have gaven me the strength and the capability too look at certain things different . You amaze me each and everyday that goes by , im glad god gave me the role to become your mom i have seen so many incredible things come from you i literally sit and think like “Omg that’s my son “ like it’s been almost a year and i am still in shock that i became a mom , despite me loosing friendships and alot people left my life because i became a mother nothing ever changed the way i felt for you , im glad they left because they were never real anyways , but this isn’t about them it’s about YOU ! As your mom I promise to always be their and help you and guide you every step of the way , it hasn’t been easy but no mom has it EASY i just always pray to god and ask him to help me throughout this life long journey and i know he will because i know that he will . Thank you so much son for maturing me , for making my days brighter .. you’re growing so fast and i wish you could slow down a bit , but unfortunately it’s life and have to take it as it is , I LOVE YOU W ALL THEIR IS OF ME TO THE MOON AND BACK AND EVEN MORE AFTER THAT ! Stop growing baby 🌙 ❤️
Things I never thought I'd say...
Until I became a mom:
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

This is my son Walter. Today is his birthday. He would have been five. This picture was taken when he was 16 days old. He was my first child and my only son (I now have 3 girls). He passed away the next day after this picture from congenital heart failure. It was a miracle that he lived passed 12 weeks gestation because of how severe his heart defects were. I miss him so much, I can't believe it's been 5 years. It still hurts so bad. I don't talk about him a lot out loud because I end up bawling...
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.
Not having a mom right now really fucking sucks. My birth mom is a POS and I refuse to let her be a part of my life. And my step mom is in my life daily but she's such a bitch and favors her sons and their wives over me so she's basically dead to me too! So annoyed I could cry for days. Fucking hormones! 😢