familygrown
Catherine Straley
How would you treat your significant other if you knew they had a mental illness such as bipolar that gave them the tendency to lash out about irrational things from time to time?
Would you still show them love would you still attempt to have patience with them?
or would you hold the things that they said during anger over them for years on end knowing that sometimes humans say things they don't always mean when they're furious
Would you still show them love would you still attempt to have patience with them?
or would you hold the things that they said during anger over them for years on end knowing that sometimes humans say things they don't always mean when they're furious
4.7 года
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People lash out and say things and if the person has a mental illness and said something during an episode then I’d take whatever was said with a pinch of salt, if I loved the person I’d not take it to heart because I’d know they didn’t mean it. If the other person doesn’t forgive then they have poor understanding of mental health or are using it as excuse x
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People lash out and say things and if the person has a mental illness and said something during an episode then I’d take whatever was said with a pinch of salt, if I loved the person I’d not take it to heart because I’d know they didn’t mean it. If the other person doesn’t forgive then they have poor understanding of mental health or are using it as excuse x
Idk how my hubby does it with me but he plays along well
Thats good that he does. Its nice to have someone in life that has that kind of patience
@familygrown, I know he gets frustrated tho but I’m so thankful for him
There’s no diagnosis that says my bf is bipolar but I can see it in him..he IS adhd though. He’s constantly doing/saying things that make me upset and cry but then always turns around and does something to fix it or apologize. He’ll either give me a hug or do whatever it was that I wanted him to do. We’ve been together for a very long time but just 2 weeks ago we moved in together and he’s only been home for a week(the first week he was on an out of state job) so it’s new to us still. I don’t hold anything over his head though especially if I know he didn’t mean it and it was small and he apologized later for it.
I'm bipolar and pstd and have depression my significant other at first did not understand and most destroyed our love but now he understand and I deal with it other ways before lashing out on him or anyone I hate pills so I just do other things and they've help now are relationship is pretty great but we argue like normal couples
I don’t have a significant other with bipolar but my son is bipolar and so was my father. I can say it’s can be hard to not take what they say or do personal. I can say though from dealing with this from my son and my dad, it is extremely hard for them while they are in a bipolar episode to control themselves and what they say and do. It’s so important for them to get help so these episodes can be limited. I would check to see if there are any support groups so you can talk to other people that have a S/O with bipolar and you can get resources and support. It’s hard. Take it one day at a time and try to not take it personal.
@sistersmainpiece its very difficult to manage. I've been in and out of therapy since I was a kid and off meds for years now. One of them gave me sever nerve damage so I'm afraid to try them again. I don't have any support at home and friends are few and far between to say the least. My husband doesn't look at my mental state as an illness. He sees my behavior as an excuse to act out again. But I typically act out if I am in serious need of love or help. Its not getting any better. I do research and try as hard as I can bit once an episode hits its like nothing else matters anyway so why not just let it all out. I do feel bad afterwards and do apologize. But that makes no difference. What I say during an episode is "more important" than when I am sincerely reaching out in other means. Even if I realize my behavior during one and try to apologise before it gets any further escalated it doesn't matter. He will just argue and jump on the defence which is the furthest from helpful.
@familygrown, you definitely need a support system. Your spouse really needs to try and support and understand you more. It seems like certain situations with him are fuel to the fire. Have your tried a case manager? I know they have so many resources and they probably have a lot of help to offer. My son has bipolar 1, he hears voices as well. He gets in home therapy twice a week, he has out patient therapy and he is on meds. He has a case manager and in school he has a 504. I’m hoping to get him an iep this year and he will also start therapy services in school. Do your episodes last for days? When you’re in an episode can you explain how it feels? I know from watching my son I see his aggression, anger, sadness. He will say things like he hates his life, he hates bipolar, he wants to kill himself. It’s sooo hard to watch. Thankfully I have thick skin cause the stuff this boy has said to me would make most people cry. Have you tried a cool down object or project you can do when you feel an episode coming on?
@sistersmainpiece I had a case manager last year and they were absolutely no help. I think a differt one might be beneficial. I would like to have in home therapy but dont know how to go about it. The out therapy I have I tend to reschedule because of my husbands appts. Its not healthy I know but its hard to put myself first when I'm not able to drive unfortunately.
The episodes usually start with some form of "paranoia" that used to serve as my intuition but now dats its just that- paranoia. Then anger and agression then realiization but by then its too late and everythings already blown up. Then comes the sever depression. It can last a few days to a few weeks. Sometimes I do art or flow dance but I really have no time for self care between my son my so and my two disabled brother in laws that live with us. Talming it out helps some but its impossible to talk to my hisband even on a good day. I'm trying to make friends but it always seems like every one is too busy these days
My husband is bipolar and sometimes on bad days he says things he shouldn’t and it used to upset me but it’s not entirely his fault and he doesn’t mean the things he says and always apologizes later. If it wasn’t for me sticking by his side idk if he’d have anyone
But you do take his apologies to heart right? Do you ever thow his episodes back up in his face?
@familygrown, I used to throw it back and when he would start things I’d argue right back and actually make the situation worse. It took me awhile to understand exactly how to deal with it. I do accept his apologies where before I didn’t. It’s hard work for both parties involved but it can be done I believe.