aurorabourealis
Samantha
How do y'all handle picky eating at your house? Tonight I made chicken, veggies, potatoes, and we had bread and butter to go with it. We told our daughter (2 years old) she has to eat 2 bites of chicken, and then she can have a slice of bread. (This method has worked in the past) bit tonight she was DISTRAUGHT over having to eat the chicken first. We dont want to back down and undermine ourselves, but on the other hand trying to force her to eat just seems to be making all of us miserable and leading her to have bad feelings about dinner time. She is too young for us to feel comfortable letting her go to bed hungry, and I dont want to be a short order cook, but I'm at a loss for where to go from here. We both work full time, and Om pregnant, so there is no money, time, or energy to be had in making foods into fun shapes and stuff like a lot of people suggest.
12.07.2019
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humblewarriormama
Full disclosure, my kiddo is in eating therapy so some of this might not be fully applicable. He’s got a speech disability that affects his eating as well.
But I hear what you’re saying about not wanting to become a short order cook, having a schedule to keep, and not wanting to let her go to bed hungry. I also refuse to make the “instagram-perfect fun meals” bc I don’t have the time or energy for it.
Sounds like there’s a little toddler power struggle staring to happen. Some of the things we’ve learned in therapy are to offer a throw away plate next to our dinner plate. My son has to touch, smell, kiss, lick, chop or eat the item. We usually work our way up to eat, but all the rest end up on the throw away plate and it’s his choice on how much to eat vs throw away. We also offer smaller portions of the things he’s not eating so it doesn’t seem as overwhelming. And then we’ll also let him have some of his preferred food first, but not all, and use the rest of that item as a reward for eating what is less preferable.
Good luck, the eating stuff can be soooo frustrating!
But I hear what you’re saying about not wanting to become a short order cook, having a schedule to keep, and not wanting to let her go to bed hungry. I also refuse to make the “instagram-perfect fun meals” bc I don’t have the time or energy for it.
Sounds like there’s a little toddler power struggle staring to happen. Some of the things we’ve learned in therapy are to offer a throw away plate next to our dinner plate. My son has to touch, smell, kiss, lick, chop or eat the item. We usually work our way up to eat, but all the rest end up on the throw away plate and it’s his choice on how much to eat vs throw away. We also offer smaller portions of the things he’s not eating so it doesn’t seem as overwhelming. And then we’ll also let him have some of his preferred food first, but not all, and use the rest of that item as a reward for eating what is less preferable.
Good luck, the eating stuff can be soooo frustrating!
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aurorabourealis
This is all super helpful, thank you! Definitely going to try the kiss the food idea, because that would make her laugh and loosen up. She is a total ham.
I think it hits us especially hard because neither one of us have literally ever been picky eaters, so it's hard for us understand. My mom always just said we had to try 2 good bites, and of we didnt like it we didnt have to finish it, but there were no substitutions. This worked for me as a kid, because I never felt pressured to finish something I detested, but my memories of that are from a much older age, and typically it was only 1 thing on the plate I didnt like, as opposed to Lily, where it is usually 75% that she doesnt like/refuses to try.
I think it hits us especially hard because neither one of us have literally ever been picky eaters, so it's hard for us understand. My mom always just said we had to try 2 good bites, and of we didnt like it we didnt have to finish it, but there were no substitutions. This worked for me as a kid, because I never felt pressured to finish something I detested, but my memories of that are from a much older age, and typically it was only 1 thing on the plate I didnt like, as opposed to Lily, where it is usually 75% that she doesnt like/refuses to try.
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humblewarriormama
@aurorabourealis, oh I hear you on not being a picky eater yourself. I ate anything and everything as a kid, and before my son hit his regression, he was too. It was so hard for me to wrap my brain around. And then I’ve got my MIL being all like, well my kids only ate 4 foods ever. I didn’t know how to politely tell her that I didn’t think that was normal or acceptable.
He’s got sensory issues and problems moving his mouth correctly to chew, so that ended up being the reason he regressed with foods. Every meal is a struggle, unless it’s chicken nuggets and tater tots, or snacks, or cheese.
Another thing that is working for us is playing with his food. Sensory bins, yogurt (or any wet food) painting, letting him use a plastic knife to cut and spread things, getting him involved in making his meals.
He’s got sensory issues and problems moving his mouth correctly to chew, so that ended up being the reason he regressed with foods. Every meal is a struggle, unless it’s chicken nuggets and tater tots, or snacks, or cheese.
Another thing that is working for us is playing with his food. Sensory bins, yogurt (or any wet food) painting, letting him use a plastic knife to cut and spread things, getting him involved in making his meals.
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mhbb29
I think all you can do is offer and maybe one other alternative. Like pp said, they won't starve themselves. Its also not good to try to force it. Eventually they will eat.
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mhbb29
@aurorabourealis Two hours unttil you make her something else? Or she eats what's before her?
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aurorabourealis
@divinely_favored give up and make her something else. We had to get her fed and into bed.
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mhbb29
@aurorabourealis Is she crying hungry or you just do it so she eats something?? Does she happily eat the alternative or keep demanding something else?
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mybabybear
I let him “starve” he’s not really starving though. We’re just both being stubborn. 🤷♀️it works sometimes it doesn’t. Meaning he doesn’t eat. I’ve stopped the battles. Kids will never let themselves starve.
I would have said to eat the veggies and potatoes then.
I would have said to eat the veggies and potatoes then.
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aurorabourealis
If she were closer to like...4 I would be okay with this, but shes just so damn little, still.
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mrs.calzada
Lol i learned the same way bc o refuse to make multiple meals they end up eating it too which has gotten better in my house
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bodybycheetos
@aurorabourealis by that age I wouldn't force her to eat the stuff she doesn't like. But I also wouldn't make a separate meal either. She will eat what she likes on her plate. (I say this but my son is about 2 and a half and I have the "you eat what I cook or don't eat" attitude.) Around 3 I get more strict and do the age bites. "Take three bites and then you can be done." By that time they have tried more food combos.
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aurorabourealis
@bodybycheetos we are also of the "you eat what I make or dont eat philosophy". Does he go to bed hungry? I feel so bad doing that at her age.
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bodybycheetos
@aurorabourealis he picks and chooses what he eats so it's not like he isn't eating anything. I make different sides. Unfortunately for me (and fortunately for him) he still nurses to sleep so no he doesn't go to sleep hungry.
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raisinglittlegamers
I'd offer a replacement type meal. She Might be bothered by the texture. When my kids don't eat they get offered fruit or peanut butter sandwich or yogurt. Something healthy.
My oldest has issues with most meats. My youngest eats anything though
My oldest has issues with most meats. My youngest eats anything though
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raisinglittlegamers
@aurorabourealis
I think it's too young to force it too. Some children just don't like the texture of some foods. You wouldn't eat something if the texture bothered you, so why make the kids 🤷
I think it's too young to force it too. Some children just don't like the texture of some foods. You wouldn't eat something if the texture bothered you, so why make the kids 🤷
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raisinglittlegamers
@aurorabourealis
Also she's really just at that age where they won't eat a whole meal. They just like small meal
Also she's really just at that age where they won't eat a whole meal. They just like small meal
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aurorabourealis
@nerdymommyplus2 I dont expect her to clean her plate, by any means, but is asking her to try one bite of meat and one bit of veggie too much for her age? Again, legitimately asking if my expectation is too high, not trying to be snarky.
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I would have said to eat the veggies and potatoes then.