Mom.life
Hey ladies, I just need to vent for a minute. Sorry in advance its so long. My ex husband (the father to my oldest 4) will be released from jail next month after being locked up for a little more than 5 years. When he got locked up he was married to a woman I'll call A, they had been together for about 2 years and married for just 5 months. I like A she and I never had any issues. When my ex first got locked up she would call and see my kids about once a month and then my husband got transferred for his job and we moved out of state. After that she kind of pulled away from my kids which I understood we were now 1600 miles apart. Anyway she ended up divorcing my ex while he's incarcerated. Well now that his release date is so close he's informed me he has a new girlfriend and will be moving in with her once released. My kids are supposed to spend a month with him but he only wants a week due to trying to find a job and getting settled and what not. I'm happy if he's happy but I'm nervous for my kids to be staying at this woman's house I don't know and I'll only meet her when they drive to pick my kids up. Is it stupid of me to be worried? My kids will be 15, 14,13 and 11 when they go. I feel like this is really dumb how worried I am.
05.06.2019

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momto3boys
momto3boys
My court order also will say no over the night guess that's not family! My then boyfriend or my ex husband girlfriend would have to be gone by 9 at night
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mommymonster
mommymonster
@momof3cuties yep and I have an appointment Monday with my lawyer who did my divorce via Skype so we'll see.
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momto3boys
momto3boys
@mommymonster good luck!
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mommymonster
mommymonster
@momof3cuties thank you
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momto3boys
momto3boys
I wouldn't allow my kids to go. They haven't seen him in 5 yr and a girl they don't know.
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mommymonster
mommymonster
If I wouldn't be held in contempt of court I wouldn't send them. I know that they usually don't do much but a smack on the hand for contempt but I'm not one to test the waters.
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jmedina
jmedina
So even though he is been in jail for 5 years it is still court ordered for them to go with him during the summer? I mean what kind of women dates a man while he is in jail is what I'm thinking and honestly sounds sketchy. Your kids do want to go?
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mommymonster
mommymonster
Yes it's still an active court order. I defiently think it's sketchy. Like when I ask how they met he says a mutual friend, like how the hell you got a mural friend when you're in jail. To answer your other question, yes they all wanna go. He's what I call a Disney dad. So he spoils them then sends them home and kind of forgets about them. I'm hoping they understand one day.
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mommymonster
mommymonster
@br00ke Trust me girl I don't want to but it's in my custody order he gets them for the summer. I'm just thankful it's only a week. If I took it to court to stop it my kids are old enough in the courts eyes to choose if they want to go or not. I wish I could stop it I mean he owes me close to 40,000 in child support but I'm not a spiteful ex-wife (I won't call myself a baby mama because I'm more than that)
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br00ke
br00ke
I wouldn't let my kids go if I was in that situation
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prettygirlrock1214surromom
prettygirlrock1214surromom
Me either
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mommymonster
mommymonster
Thanks ladies, my ex was locked up for dui 5 or consecutive offense and violation of probation. As for him being rehabilitated, I honestly doubt it he was in and out of jail our entire relationship and it probably won't be long before he goes back. All I really know about her is that she works for the spca in her town. I have reached out to her but she doesn't return my text. Unfortunately I can't travel to where their going to be staying because I unfortunately can't afford to. I thought about putting the life 360 app on my girls phones or is there any app you all recommend to keep track of them while they're gone. I do have family who will only be an hour or two away from where they will be.
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mimixtmn
mimixtmn
Def not dumb yes they are older but you don’t know anything of her, older children can be hurt too. The fact that he must of met her while in prison is kind of concerning on many levels in itself. My son was hurt by an adult woman when he was 11 years old and will be forever dealing with it.
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massgirl
massgirl
No I would be worried. Heck I'm worried for them. Is there anyway that you can stay in the area for a couple of days and visit with them to get a better vibe. I'm sure your oldest would be able to do something or speak up if things were weird but I would never want to put my child in that situation. Do you think your ex husband is fully rehabilitated? Is he even safe for your kids to be around. Over five years is not a light sentence.
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mychemicalshaymance
mychemicalshaymance
I'd be worried too. You're just now finding out about a new woman who will be around your kids.
He's been incarcerated the whole relationship so she could have hidden a plethora of things from him that he wont know about until hes been in the real world long enough. Unless she's an genuinely nice and honest person.
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mrs.hibben
mrs.hibben
I’d be worried too! You don’t know anything about this woman.
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lizibear84
lizibear84
It’s not dumb to be worried, you’re their mom. If you can’t meet her in person before hand, maybe try to set up some phone calls or video calls to get to know one another a bit before they go? Include the kids in one of them so they’re not meeting her for the first time either
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