How has being an only child affected you? I’m in a mental debate with myself as to wether I should consider giving my daughter a sibling but I’ve been so adamant that I will never have another child. But today I saw my grandma enjoying a day out with one of her sisters and it just made me happy that she has this unconditional bond with her sisters FOR LIFE
I’m stuck and wondering if people who’ve grown up without siblings have now as parents themselves wished they had a sibling. Hope no offence is taken
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Totally following this as I have 5 sisters and always wanted multiple kids but my partner is much older than me and has a "cut off" date. He wants more but I've found it really difficult and with PND and anxiety I've ended up losing my job and as much as I'd love LO to have a life long friend I dont know if I can mentally handle it all again and have 2 at the same time
I have 4 half sisters (only 2 of them Lived with and know) and grown up around foster siblings so I’m from a pretty mad and crazy family and it’s never interested me to have a big family but It’s definitely down to family dynamic and mines was never great, so I’ve quite enjoyed being just us and going through everything just us, totally worried that when she’s older she’s not going to be happy with just us. But I totally get you with the mental health side of things, it’s truly horrible and hard. Sorry you’ve lost your job, don’t let that put you down too much. You’re an amazing mum and that’s the best job ever. Are you getting any help with your mental health? Xx
@denbydee not really I raised concerns to a doctor who put me on antidepressants. I dont take them as a lot of what causing my problems are my circumstances if that makes sense but I wasnt offered anything like counselling. I'm due to start a new job and whilst I'm really excited I am scared its going to be too much again
@stacey1991, it’s so annoying! There is so much out there about mental health now a days but I really feel that the practicality of actually getting help is absolutely impossible. Looking back now I was suffering so badly from PND but no one, not even my family nurse (like a health visitor but more support, allegedly) did anything to help. It’s hard but please seek more help and push push push to get it! It’s a shame that’s what it takes to get help but you and your baby will be soooo thankful for it. Your life will be so much more fulfilling. Depression is hard but take it from someone slightly on the other side. Don’t suffer in silence x
I'm an only child (not my parents choice apparently, but mum never managed to get pregnant again) and I always wanted a sibling. I stopped asking for a baby sister when mum snapped back one day, I was around 9 at the time.
I was lonely growing up, not helped that I found it harder than others to make friends, and as I reached my teenage years & GCSE/A-Level exams I felt like my parents expectations weighed heavily on me.
I always wanted 2 or more children, as I didn't want my children to feel as lonely as I did.
Bethany was 2 days old when I told hubby I wanted to give her a sibling. He wanted to wait until she was a bit older, getting funded childcare or starting school.
I finally fell pregnant again the week she turned 4!
Oh sorry you felt that way, it’s lovely that you’re giving your babies something you always wanted. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Is your little girl excited? Xx
@denbydee she can't wait! She keeps hugging and kissing my bump.
6 days until her sister's due.
@k1mt, 😍😍😍 aw so cute! Best of luck on her arrival x
I don’t have experience of being an only child but, When did you decide on having just 1 child, have you always been of that mindset or is there something that made you think that when you had your 1st?
After I had my 1st I had an extremely hard labour/birth, and found adjusting to parenthood quite hard and if anybody asked when I was having another one my immediate response was always ‘I’m not’ because that was how I felt, but when my little boy was a little older - I think just over the age of 2, I’d finally gotten over those feelings and anxiety and felt ready/as though I could manage having another child. So I’m now currently 3 days over waiting for my 2nd to make his appearance, and I’ve prepared myself as well as I can to be able to handle this labour/birth better and overcome anything I struggled with, with my 1st born.
You baby’s still a baby - from what I can see on your profile, so there’s still time later down the line to have another, don’t make any rash decisions and maybe look at the reasons why you’re considering just having the one compared to pros/cons of having anymore.
Perlah, despite being a really good child in general, sleep has always been really hard and it has and still is taking a massive toll on me and it has seriously put me off ever having another child but I don’t want to be selfish. I feel that she deserves a sibling, a friend for life. I don’t want her to be lonely but I don’t want to take all my love away from her, it’s a difficult decision and I am definitely looking at the pros and cons. I am in absolutely no position to even think about another child unless through a donor and that’s not up there on my list of things to do 🙈
Good luck with your birth, I’m positive you will do amazing 💖 xx
I’m not an only child in fact I have too many siblings 😂 I have two cousins both only children one is the most stuck up girl spoilt brat I know 😂 the other he’s great but that’s just a personality thing.
With Erin I was adamant I wasn’t having any more after her but that was mainly because I was a single mum and my mental health was crazy. However in the back of my mind I worried that when I’m gone she’ll be alone and now she has two brothers she’s amazing and loves them to bits Erin n Charlie have an amazing bond she’s happy she has someone to play with she couldn’t wait for Charlie to start walking about so they could play together parks, garden ect. So al in all I just like the thought they’ll all have one another when I’m gone xxx
That’s exactly my thinking, for when she’s older who’s she going to have. I have younger sisters myself and although we personally aren’t all that close (they are still quite young and immature) I know they’ll be there forever. So glad your wee girl is happy xx
I was an only child until I was 8 then my brother came along and tbh I think jealousy set in pretty quickly I hated not being able to have my mum and dad to myself and we used to fight all the time up until the age of 17 which is when I fell pregnant with my first daughter then we grew really close and we are literally inseparable he’s always at my house and around his nieces. Part of me wanted to have my children close together because of how I felt and how I was when my brother came along after having my parents to myself for so long and I’m so glad I did because my girls share the most amazing bond and there’s no jealousy what so ever 😍xx
@denbydee, i loved it haha I was spoiled rotten (still am as I’m an only daughter) but I just loved having my mum and dad to myself but they did leave a big age gap I think that’s why it was so difficult for me to adjust x
@courtniek98x, yeah it is quite an age gap. I’m glad you enjoyed it while it lasted 😆 you just never know, I don’t want her to grow up and her not having a sibling being something I regret. I’ve got plenty of time to think about it, who knows things might change x
@denbydee, it’s something you need to think about and discuss with your partner and agree on what you want to do. We knew more or less straight away we wanted more kids and our girls have 1 year 2 months and 2 days between them 😊x
I should add I have a stepdaughter and once before my LO was here we bought her board games for xmas and she said "what's the point I have no to play them with". That hit me especially because people say "but you can play with him" and in reality me and my OH work really stressful jobs and I know what it's like to not be in the mood to play when you get home