Sleep training, night 2:

I’m in actual tears. She’s asleep, faster than yesterday. Or maybe I was too busy getting stuff done to notice how quick time went by. My dad picked her up while I was in the shower cuz she was still crying and ofc I can’t be mad at him. I mean yah he made it worse but he was just trying to comfort her. But I come out and he’s holding her looking at me like I kicked a puppy and ofc now I feel like shit. I don’t just let her cry and ignore her, I check in on her every few mins but I had to wash my ass I mean hello?? At least after I cuddled her for a min or two when I put her back down she cried for like 2 mins before knocking out. But now I’m in bed literally bawling my eyes out, heartbroken and drowning in guilt. I know it gets easier, everyone tells me that and I appreciate it but it doesn’t change how I feel inside. In my head I know this doesn’t make me a bad mother but in my heart it still hurts. I just want this phase to go by quick.