OB Doctor’s Appointments with ex? NEED ADVICE!!
My ex is now insisting he comes to my prenatal doctor’s appointments. He paid for half of my deductible and now feels entitled to everything involving the doctor. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in over 2 months. He is a narcissist and I was advised by my therapist to avoid him as much as possible unless it was regarding the baby. I personally don’t feel comfortable with him going 😒
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I would allow him to go to ultrasounds but other than that you need to be comfortable at your appointments. You're going to have a lot of questions and a lot of decisions to make for you and your baby. You shouldn't have to feel like you can't make your own decisions because he is there.
He probably just wants that leverage on you.
I don’t think there is a requirement that legally he is allowed to accompany your appointment just because he paid for it or because he is the father. You have privacy rights. It’s called HIPPA. In fact your OB and the clinic cannot disclose any information regarding your medical treatments or diagnosis without your consent and permission. They won’t even do it unless you signed something and they have that paperwork on file. That’s how serious it is and that’s how entitled you are to your privacy.
@angiechz, If you’re considering it out of the goodness of your heart I’d maybe consult with your OB and let them know of your situation. Maybe you can have an agreement with the Ob that they can see you separately for first half of appt and invite him in on second half where it’s just that ultrasound part or something like that. For my pregnancy the one question they asked me is if I was in an abusive relationship or if I was feeling coerced or fearful in any way at home. OB clinics are well aware pregnant women are often in delicate situations and need help but may not know how to ask for it.
He has a right to go to anything that involves his baby unfortunately. Keep it short and sweet. Take separate cars. Meet there and part ways after. No need to do much conversing at the doctors appointments. Be cordial, and let him know ahead of time of the time and location of the appointment. Then just avoid him about everything else. Good luck, you’ll be okay
Well ob appointments are about his baby too. So.... I say practice putting your feelings aside and start your coparenting journey now. You’re going to have to do it for the rest of your life.
You need to be comfortable at your appts. If need be tell him you haven’t scheduled anything or you’re waiting for the office to call back to schedule your next appt or something so he doesn’t know when it’ll be.
If your not comfortable then don't take him. You don't have to take anybody. Him paying half the deductible was just a favor but doesn't mean he HAS to be at the appointment. You and your baby don't need anymore stress.
Protect your privacy. Don’t want him there don’t tell him. Ask if you can record the heartbeat and send it in a text. Just update through text how the appointment went.